Things I like

I got in the car after bowling last night. Hit the exterior temp control on the dash and there it was 7:30PM and it was 69 degrees. To some people that is great, a warm temperature, to me it is freaking funny. I don't know how or when it started but in my family and circle of friends the number 69 elicits a cackle of a laugh. You just point and give your best "HeHeHe" in a creepy old man laugh. If your tongue hangs out a bit all the better.

Drive past exit 69 on the highway? HeHeHe.

Team scores a 669 total game bowling? HeHeHe.

Jared Allen makes a tackle for a loss? HeHeHe.

See how the possibilities are endless with this?!?!

Sure I know it is juvenile at best, and maybe a little creepy at the worst. But to me it it is funny and will probably not ever be not funny. I am a simple man with simple likes. And for what ever reason this is one of them. Maybe now I need to get into NASCAR and see if there is a driver with the number 69 (HeHeHe). I guess I could set my favorite channel on the remote to recall 69 or 169 every time I click it HeHeHe. Oh this is never going to end.


Speaking of bowling Last night a young man that I thought may have been with the table next to us (turns out he wasn't) just plopped down with our work league and started chatting it up with us.

There were a few things this kid needed but I will tell you the things he did not.

He did not need confidence to sit down and strike up a conversation with people much older than him.

He didn't need an explanation on how the game of bowling is played.

He didn't need to be taught how to knuckle pound or high five or when to use them.

And Lastly he most certainly didn't need a haircut. This boy's mullet was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. When I was growing up, having a hair cut like this was just having long hair. Today it is a fashion choice and this kid rocked it. The only thing that may have made it a bit better is if he was wearing a shirt that somehow worked the number 69 onto it HeHEHE.


After Church on Sunday Jamie Lou and I tried to stop by the Waveland Cafe for some breakfast. It used to be a place we liked to go even though it was one of the smokier places around. Maybe in third place after the Front Row and Cooneys. But now that it is smoke free it would be perfect. Only apparently everyone else feels this way now as the place was more than a little bit packed. every seat was filled and there was a line of people waiting to get seated. There wasn't a lot of talking going on and there was a felling of pissed off/angry in the air from everyone that was eating. No smiles were on faces that I could see. So Jamie Lou decided to drive me to the other side of the world to try breakfast at MiMi's. Let's just say that the combination of screaming baby, 18 inch celery stalk in my bloody mary that when removed lowered the bloody mary volume in my glass by 20%, smudged mirrors, elitist emo kid meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time and telling the world his parents were wrong to be getting divorced in a voice loud enough to be heard next door, and so-so food left me less than impressed. I did like that they said it would be 15 minutes and it was only a 5 minute wait. As Jamie Lou says, under promise and over deliver and with the wait time they did it. But with everything else MiMi's may have made the Old Milwaukee Never Again list with me.

Song of the day: "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check" Busta Rhymes. It makes me sad that videos are almost a thing of the past. In college when this bad boy showed up on MTv(yes you younger readers out there Music Television used to show music videos) I was like WOO HA, that is effing awesome.

In Like a Lion

In like a Lion and out like a lamb. I guess that is what they say about the Month of March. Which got me a-thinkin' What does it even mean? Do lions and lamb ever really hang out together? Is there some awesome machine that you put in a Lion and get out a cute little lamb? Is it only in reference to the weather? Well to find the answer I went to the only real place for information the interwebs. Know what? there are lots of answers out there. The one that seems the best to me actually revolves around the constellations of Leo (LION) and Ares (ram/lamb) and there positions in the sky at the beginning and end of March. And how this constellation also seems to match March weather. Having a hard time following this pointless rant? Well then click here to get a great cartoon representation from a stargazer.

March for me and this blog it was in like a lion and out like a..... better than a lion.... a predator. I am trying to do more and give Witty little things for you to read about. While I cannot guarantee anything.... if you were to post a suggestion or two of things you might like to read about in the comment section.... I might talk to management and see what I can do. It makes it easier to write when you actually know people are reading.

I got a call from some friends and they were asking if I liked my Palm Pre, and with out hesitation I say it is the best phone I have ever owned. and I stand by that. it does everything you would ever need, the number of aps that are showing up increase daily (I must admit I still only get the free ones) and the fantastic pandora music to pass the time at work. My new favorite thing is a little painting piece of software they have. I am getting into self portraits at the moment, and if I get good enough I may move on to horses, God's most majestic creatures.

Song of the day "Who's the King" Dog Eat Dog. So these guys opened to Gravity Kills many moons ago at Peeple's in Ames. Fun band that actually had a sax wailing when they played. Made a joke that they had a gold record in Belgium and a wooden one in the states.

Stoopid reporting

CNN had an article today that is beyond dumb. you can find it here with this title:

Alleged John Edwards sex tape survives courthouse fire

It then goes on to say that the tapes weren't even in the courthouse. WOW. REALLY?!?! Kind of like saying I survive Pompeii and Vesuvius because I wasn't born yet don't you think? Ranks up there with bad late night inside Hollywood that spent 5 minutes talking about a picture of tiger's wife in Europe even though it was her sister. AND THEY KNEW IT! It seems more than just a little lazy to me, it is dishonest. I don't much care for liars. If you are wrong that is one thing, but to pretend that an item is something it isn't... I hate it.

Jamie Lou went to the Black Eyed Peas last night at the well. She wanted me to go, but it seems like a big waste of money for the amount of enjoyment I would have received from it. For the third concert in a row she was amazed at the number of parents that bring their children to a profanity laced overtly sexual concert. I don't have a good answer for it, because it sure isn't for the art. I am thinking it is because the baby sitters are at the show too, and rather than stay home with the kiddies, it is easier to bring them to hear Luda...... the downfall of American society ;-)

So in honor of BEP be reppin' it. Here is Fergie pissing herself on stage

Happy Birthday Dani

Well I guess for the next few months since we are now the same age well will probably have a lot more in common, but come August 28th all bets are off as I am sure I will have many new interests then.

Too bad UNI is more important to you than presents and parties... it only means and extra week of waiting. You want a hint for your gift? it is bigger than a bread box and smaller than a bread truck. See Two HINTS! If you solve this riddle you may get some insight into what you are getting:

Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?

So happy birthday, good to see you when you swung by to see the Troll at Hooters. Glad to hear you had a fun time and saw a real one shoed drunk at the movies.

Jamie Lou says Happy B-Day too!

I guess you'll have to look forward to someday....

Get to the CHOPPAH!

I gave in and got gas, the computer said 8 miles remaining, I really wanted to just go home, but I had a much better feeling after the 44 dollar fill up that the range said 325 miles. I am such a wimp. $44.00 even, I should have received a discount or something for hitting that amazing-high-expensive-unnecessary number.

TV shows have been pretty OK lately. I am enjoying the new FX Justified. Lost is winding down, nice to learn a little about Richard and Jacob last night. Chuck I am not so sure about, sometimes fun other times feels like they mail it in. Caprica has had some good moments lately too, I am curious to see how he story will change to the people that make it to the Battlestar. Nurse Jackie is DVR'd but not yet watched, I am geeked to see where that show takes everyone. And Dexter is the one I am truly waiting for anxiously. After the way last season ended, I can't wait to see what the writers do with Dexter. The put some new life into something that was a little formula based. And Flashforward I am hoping for big things from.

In 2011 George RR Martin's Game of Thrones is to be on HBO as a mini series/ show. I can't tell you how much I want this to happen. Almost as much As I would like him to finish his fucking next book. My sister sent me this about HBO's Game of Thrones:

Novelist George R.R. Martin, who just Monday blogged that he would be "gutted" if HBO decided not to order to series "Game of Thrones," was doing the "happy dance" Tuesday that he promised if the network moved ahead with the project. Adapted from Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" fantasy epic and shot in Northern Ireland and other European and North African locations in late 2009, "Game of Thrones" will resume production on nine additional episodes in the summer. One of the most anticipated TV series in a while, it probably will premiere in 2011. Written by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, the cast includes Mark Addy, Alfie Allen, Sean Bean, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Ehle, Jack Gleeson, Iain Glen, Kit Harrington, Lena Headey, Harry Lloyd, Richard Madden, Rory McCann, Tamzin Merchant, Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, and Isaac Hempstead Wright. "From the start of this, I've told myself, 'Don't get too emotionally invested in this, or you will be devastated if it doesn't go,' Martin wrote in his blog Monday. "Wise words, those. I'm a smart guy. But easier said than done. I've failed. I am totally emotionally invested, and if HBO does indeed decide to pass, for whatever reason, I will be gutted. So let's all hope I am soon doing the happy dance instead."

Well I too would be gutted if I was deprived not only his next book but his show as well, I hope they stay true to the book. But there are some issues that can be put down on paper that if acted out may turn into a Lolita type problem. I am wondering how they will deal with that. First guess is to just make the children older, but who know....

Instead of music more along the line of Movies I am looking forward to:
The Predator has always been bit of a fun thing with me. Personally I think the Predator is a FANTASTIC movie, I actually really enjoy the second one too. AVP I didn't mind, honestly I never saw the newest one as billy joe's closed before it ever got there. Who would win in a fight? Predator. Who would you draft first? Vick? Peterson? no, Predator. There is no killing what can't be killed, no stopping what can't be stopped.

I am excited for this summer!

Miles To Empty

Part of me wants to see how accurate the computer really is. But the biggest part of me has no interest in being out of gas on the side of the road so I suspect I will get gas tonight before bowling league. Strangely enough, I have never been been driver of a car that has broken down on the side of the road. When the Contour died, it died as I pulled into the lot at work. I have been in cars that have run out of gas, but I sure wasn't driving.

I would suppose that with a lot of things in life it would be nice to know how many more miles you had left. But then that might take some of the fun out of what is coming up next. Over at Run Fat Cam Run I am trying to keep an account of what is going on with trying to be a little bit better of a person. And while I can't say how many miles I have left I can say that over they last few weeks I do feel like my personal tank is getting bigger and I can go a little farther.

I have given up on road racing and running, I haven't shot a basketball in years, the invitation to play footy had to be respectfully declined. So that leaves bowling and golf (I don't think the sport of NASCAR would have me, those are finally tuned athletes). I played golf like twice last year. Don't really know why either, I quite enjoy golf and am fair to average at it. Bowling on the other hand I do get plenty of at the moment, and that is fine with me.

Song of the Day: "I Miss You" Blink 182.... this is a strange video for a catchy tune

Health Care

I am not a political person. Not because I don't care, not because I don't have opinions, I think it is because I hate the aggression from other side from what I think in my mind is "right". And that goes both ways - dems and reps. And I have decided that there is really only the illusion of choice and all roads lead to the same place. I think I would qualify myself as a pro civil liberties, anti hate, people generally know better what is good for themselves, the haves should help the have nots, guns are good, don't tell a woman what to do with her body.... kind of guy.

My buddy at work a while back received a letter from the RNC, in the return address it was titled "2010 OBAMA AGENDA SURVEY". It makes me laugh the this mailing says there is an agenda. OF COURSE THERE IS A FUCKING AGENDA IT IS POLITICS EVERYONE HAS AN AGENDA, IT IS JUST THAT THEIR AGENDA FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER ISN'T YOURS. It is funny to me that this friend got this letter as he would be about as far from the RNC as any of my friends are.

The questionnaire inside just makes me shake my head. It is when my wife comes home and says things like "did you know that 1 in 10 people.... did you know that 40% of... did you know that...." I have a degree in Mathematics from Simpson College, one thing that I did learn is that numbers can be made to say anything you like. I wonder what this RNC survey is trying to make the numbers say. It has such gem questions like:

Do you agree with Barack Obama and the democrats that the taxes should be raised for the sake of "fairness," regardless of the negative impact it is likely to have on the economy? I love how they lower the importance of the president by referring to him by his first and last name. And what are we agreeing with? What was said by who? Did the democrats say regardless of the negative impact...? No one will agree with that statement the way it is worded.

Do you support the creation of a national health care plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, DC? Isn't this have bureaucrats do? Administer programs for the nation? Who would the RNC suggest runs the plan?

The questions go on and on with words like eliminate, controls, government-funded, unionization.... I would almost like the chance to re-write these questions just to make them in a way to get the complete opposite result as what was intended. i.e. Would you be in favor of a program that would allow 32 million Americans access to health care for the first time, allowing for medical care saving millions of dollars in emergency care by allowing for regular doctor visits and preventative care?

I am excited to see that finally there may be a chance for those people that have to tell their kids "Don't get sick we can't afford it" or the ones that wait to go to the emergency room when it is too late to treat their illness, or those that are diabetic and can't get treatment. .... I am excited that the greatest nation on the planet is trying to do something to help the health of it's people. You don't agree with me, suck it, I don't like politics and I am not going to debate it with you. It is my opinion and there isn't anything I want to hear from you on it. Or maybe that is the attitude that gets us the Glen Becks and Sean Hannitys and Keith Olbermanns of the world. What do I know? I am just a fat guy trying to get by happy to see a man get something done he campaigned to do.

Song of the day: In keeping with the health care theme no song of the day, but here is a show that is cranking up for season 2 tonight. It is one of my favorites right now as they are all so flawed, the kids the adults the patients, it has a "real" feel to it and I am glad to see it back. Nurse Jackie

Movie Review - Green Zone

Went with Mike to the movie Green Zone starring Matt Damon. There wasn't much funny to learn from the this movie. Fictional Movies trying to find the why, where , when and why of how we were lead to believe there were WMDs in Iraq do not make for funny blogging fodder. A lot of people have given way too much for something that has been shown to be a terrible mistake at best and (as the movie portrays it) the biggest kind of treachery at the worst.

With that said here are a few things I learned from the movie Green Zone:

• I learned that I chuckle every time I hear a a radio conversation contain the word "Niner"
• I learned that every time I see Matt Damon's name or face for the first time on a movie I say out loud "Maaattt Daaammonnn" Thanks Matt Parker and Trey Stone, you have ruined his name for me.
• I learned that after the bad guy gets shot in the movie, and the guy's phone behind you in the theater starts ringing to "Our God, is an Awesome God" it kinda sounded like it was part of the soundtrack at first.

So there is a new movie coming out called "Marmaduke". I wonder what it could be about.

This shot is to show that you dontt have a big enough room to take this promotional piece home. That or is show Mike is actually just a lilliputian.

There were some pretty good trailers. So in lieu of a song here are 2 movies I am looking forward to seeing:

St. Patty's Day

I know this may come as a surprise to most of you, but St Patrick's day is one of my least favorite days of the year. The drunks and the drunk fighters and the drunk drivers come out in force. As my brother likes to say "The rookies come out and try to impress the pros and ruin it for everyone."

One good thing I have noticed is the progression of St. Paddy's (which is it Patty's or Paddy's?) Day t-shirts. Here they are in order for boring to awesome:

The bad:

The Better:

AND THE FANTASTIC!

Song of the day: "Jump Around" The House of Pain... I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe...

Things I Like

There are certain things that strike me as funny that others could probably give a rip about let alone find the least be funny. The picture in the this post has made me chuckle for the last few days. All the way since the man mad it dark in the morning and light at night.

Billy Shakespeare wrote:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more;

So which is it? To Be or not to be? Life or Death? The last few mornings, since it is dark when I work out, the lights are still all on in the store fronts. And this liquor store next to Gold's Gym has made the decision:"To Be" LIFE and LIVING. And I salute you!

Song of the day. "Bad Romance" Lady Gaga
The Gaga Law (RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance

A strange thing happend this weekend

So a strange thing happened this weekend to me. No there were no aliens, or drag queen shows involved this time. It happened at the Sprint Store on University. I received quick, prompt, fast, helpful, needed customer service. I know, hard to believe, but true.

A while back Jamie Lou and I got Palm Pre's to use as our primary cell phones. I can't speak for her but it is the best phone I have owned. Except for two things. 1) when you type numbers in by hand to dial a number it beeps and 2) my phone was broke and it thought the ear phone buds where in even when they weren't. That means to talk and HEAR someone on the phone I either needed my ear buds or to be on speaker phone. I found out quickly not being able to hear was no very useful.

So on Saturday we were out running errands and Jamie Lou asked if I had anymore things to do before we went home, and I said take me to the Sprint Store. She started to head to Merle Hay and I said no, that we needed to go to University to the main store where the techs are. She the through a fit about how awful a place it is. I don't know if she really ever had a traumatic event happen to her there or if she is just imagining horror from other's stories...

I told her to go to the book store, but she was determined to come in and see the awfulness that is Sprint Customer Service.

We came in and were third in line to be queued into the wait list. Within 1 minute we were on the "to talk to someone list" and within another 1 minute we were talking to a guy that says "Sure we can fix it" He mentioned it might take a few minutes.

So Jamie Lou and I waltzed over to Rock Bottom for a drink and a snack of pizza (which was pretty good) and headed back over.

When we got there we were informed that the phone wasn't "fixable" so I was getting a new phone. So just like that broken phone gone, new working phone in. Only bad thing is that I think(actually I know) I lost all phone numbers that I didn't have backed to my computer which is a bunch. So if I don't call it is prolly because I no longer have your phone number, so you text me with your name or shoot me an e-mail with your number and I will get them entered back in to the Pre.

So just when you think the terrorists have won, you get great service and a place people hate to go to. I gotta say, it was a good day.

Song of the Day: "Shiva" The Smashing Pumpkins I don't live - I Inhale, I don't give - I unveil......Got to see this played Live in Ames many years ago, Billy plays a better axe than I ever knew

Things I learned from the Movie "Cop Out"

Went to the movie "Cop Out" staring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan Directed by Kevin Smith.

Couldn't decide what movie to go to last night. When Billy Joe's was still open it was easy, there wasn't a choice. What ever was show we went to, unless it was a non-horror musical. For what ever reason I am so over musicals right now. There were a few movies on the "to choose from list":Brooklyn’s Finest, Cop Out, The Crazies, Crazy Heart. I was feeling that a light comedy was a perfect fit for the night so Cop Out was agreed to albeit begrudgingly with Mike. The movie was exactly what I thought it would be, and homage to 80's cop movie partner flicks.

With all that here a few of the things I learned:

I learned that I may be the only person on Earth that thinks Tracy Morgan is funny. It only took for me to realize that Tracy doesn't act, he really is that person and not playing that person. He is a riot.

I learned to tell us about the chicken

I learned that if coworkers are making fun of you and your partner, call your partner sitting next to you and talk about the co-workers in front of them like they aren't there.. When done hang up and say it was nothing.

I learned some boots you don't wear, they wear you.

I learned they call me Mr. Tibbs

I learned that cop comedies with partners for 9 years is funnier that just paired partners.

I learned that Kevin Smith, while too fat for Southwest Airlines, he can direct something he didn't write

I that learned that if it bleeds we can kill it.

I may be one of the only people that find Tracy Morgan funny. I really started liking him once I realized he doesn't act. What you see on the screen is how he is in real life. And that is indeed funny.

I learned Stiffler likes to do parkour, while his cell mate can knit the fuck out of a sweater.

If you take Earl and remove his beard he turns into a rich dick.

I learned that these are not the droids you are looking for.

If a step dad pays for a wedding the ex-wife feels that gives him the right to give the step daughter away at the wedding.

If the step dad tries to stand up to give her away your partner should put the barrel of his gun in the step dad's back and tell him to sit down

I learned we are going to need a bigger boat.

I learned if you nanny cam you wife to see if she is cheating on you. You should watch it all and not just the sexy beginning.

I learned Adam Brody and Kevin Pollak should be played by [insert like looking actor here ugh cant remember his name] and Robert DeNiro, to which Kevin Pollak will change his face to look just like De Niro

I learned that it is best if your boots are made from endangered animals like sea turtles or zebras

I learned you Told Harpo to beat me.

I learned that while your person you are protecting is being questioned by an interpreter eating chips and salsa can be loud

I learned when Tracy Morgan tries to get a suspect to talk he uses lines from movies

I learned that yes they deserved to die, and I hope the burn in hell.

I learned that nobody puts baby in a corner.

I leaned that Bruce Willis killed 11 people tonight

I learned Duck Season. Rabbit Season

I learned that an Andy Pafko card sold for $83,870.00

I learned Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.

I learned it was her gay cousin. IT WAS HER GAY COUSIN!

Song of the day: Elastica "Stutter" just catchy with funny lyrics

what to say

Sometimes I just sit here and have nothing to say. Not sure if it is because last night was on the boring side for me, but I don't think that is it. Could be that nothing funny happened around me, a little closer. Or it could be that I am just not that creative, may be a little too close to the truth to want to admit.....

Well even with all the crappy work place issues that have been going around, thus far Jamie Lou and I have weathered the storm. She was even lucky enough to get a little extra from her company in the form of a bonus. Now seeing where I work I had never heard of this word. So I had to look it up:

1. something given, paid, or received above what is due or expected - ex. a Christmas bonus for all employees

Interesting concept, I have never received one, but that is getting off point.....

So her little extra hit the account yesterday, and lucky enough for her that not only does she like nice things, but she works hard and deserves them. The last few years the reward of choice has been a Coach purse. And why not? They are a statement and look nice. Unfortunately I have had to insert myself into the purse buying process. For what ever reason this fashionable, smart chick is broken when it comes to purse selecting. Case in point, last night the first one she picks is a hand bag that is the color of old woman's underwear. Truly horrible. "But I like it," she says. The next one is this gray number. Because hey, what says spring has sprung like a ugly gray purse? I got her narrowed down to two more festive choices, and then she made the final decision. See how I do that, get it down to only good choices, then it is win-win. She gets something nice, and I am nor embarrassed to be seen with it. Some people say "Don;t you have enough purses?!?!" I say, that is why you work hard and get ahead, so if you want fun stuff, you can have it.

Song of the day: The Raconteurs "Steady, As She Goes" I think I have a man-crush on Jack White

Global Warming

Help is what is needed, and in the worst of ways. Friday My trash cans were able to sit on the ground and not on 3 feet of snow in my front yard. If this Global Warming continues I will soon be able to take the cans to the street by quietly rolling them through the thick green grass instead of noisily down the broken beat up driveway. This is madness and if we don't find a way to make it colder and keep snow around I may even have to rake or mow. This is crazy talk!

On a completely different line of thought I do love pandora on my palm pre, hook it up to the USB and rock out at work, and maybe block out other noise like that effing printer that never stops running all day.

Song of the day: The White Stripes "My Doorbell" When you gunna ring it, when you gunna ring it?

Oscar - Best Movie

Well I am no one to re-hash old blog posts, heck lately I am not one to post at all but the Oscar for best picture got me thinking. Got me to think that I really feel the best flick did win. So here is my "Things I learned from "The Hurt Locker"" The link actually has a few more things that Mike Learned too. Looking back I must have really enjoyed this movie if the last thing I 'learned' was: I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.



The movie "The Hurt Locker" was one that I was geeked to see as I had heard good things about it from the interwebs and the newspaper and the trailer I saw for it on HDnet. Some of the first words up on the screen are "War is a drug." And after seeing what war does to the star of the movie you get a sense of what that means. To get his "fix" he does what ever he can and the more normal he tries to be, the more he wants to be back disarming munitions. The movie had many suspenseful moments and with few explosion. If I remember the count right a movie about disarming bombs had four explosions. Hear that Micheal Bay, you hack of a movie man, you don't need to blow shit up a thousand times to make it exciting, loser.
That said here are a few things I learned from the movie "The Hurt Locker"

I learned that if you have a bomb with a big enough bang to blow up Jesus, you might as well take off you bomb suit so you can die comfortably.

I learned that babies love everything. The mobile, the jack in the, box the stuffed animals.

I also learned that when they get older they will discover the jack in the box is just a box with a stuffed animal.

Additionally they will only come to love two things, but our star of the movie only loved one thing.

I learned that Bravo company only had 38 days left.

I learned that Delta company has 365 days left.

I learned that war is a drug.

I learned that our star is a "wild man".

I learned that he has disarmed 873 bombs.

I learned that the best way to disarm a bomb is in "the way that doesn't get you killed"

I learned that responding to the Question "what is the best way to disarm a bomb?" with the answer "the way that doesn't get you killed" is something a wild man would say.

I learned that "*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive *trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive"

I learned that choosing cereal and all groceries can be too daunting a task for someone that wants to be back doing the on thing that they love.

I learned that street vendors speak like they learned English from a NWA rap album in Iraq.

I learned that if Beckham sells him one more DVD that is of shaky unfocused quality, he is going to cut his head off.

I learned he is kidding.

I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.

re-birth, and re-launch, and a re-start

Not sure if it should be called a re-birth, and re-launch, and a re-start. But that is what I am doing starting today, re-starting both An Iowan's Random Rambles and Run Fat Cam Run.
With as much effort as I put in getting my interwebs back up at home I think getting back into blogging is the least I could do.

It started on Wednesday, the interwebs stopped. The modem showed no activity, the activity light would flick on every once in a while. After way too many beers Friday night I decided I would fix the modem. Let me just tell you, know that punching the modem only really serves to completely break it and not as intended to "fix it". Actually I would recommend not punching any electronics if they aren't functioning as expected (see, this re-launch is going to be educational as well as entertaining at least to me).

So off to Best Buy Sunday night I went and got a new Zoom cable modem. Hook it up, and it was a no go. Then I remember to activate your modem with mediacom there is a website to go to.
Hmmm, well I have no internets... just so happens my friend Keith calls and he does some digging. He finally finds a usable IP. Once I get into that, it wants my account number and confirmation number.

Hmmm, well we switched to paper-less on-line only paperwork. Jamie Lou was nice enough to dig up a bill from 2006. That has the account number but no confirmation number.
I call Keith back, He does more research for me he suggests try the last 9 numbers of the account number for the confirmation, Hey that works.

Now to authorize the modem swap I need a technician's number...
OMG when will this ever end?

Just then the Mediacom customer service line answers (did I mention I have been on hold with mediacom for the last 45 minutes? no? well I was). I hang up with Keith and explain to my new customer service friend that I am activating a new modem and need a technician's number. Before I can react she says I need tech support and I am on hold again. If only I could have gotten to this website I would have used it : USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

Luckily this time it was only a 5 or 10 minute wait. I explain to him that I need a technician's number and he proceeds to say any number 1 - 999999 would have worked. Again: USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. I put in 999999, and magically nothing happens. Another 30 minutes with a VERY helpful tech (and that isn't sarcasm, really it isn't, he was very helpful) I got all the DNS server issues and MAC address issues sorted out and Casa D'Christensen was back on the tubes to the internets. Strangely enough this new modem is much faster compared to the old one. So the moral to the story? Sometimes drinking a gallon of beer and smashing what you think is the problem does end up being a first step to finding the solution.

Strangest thing I heard this weekend? "Well this last couple I dated, The husband wanted me to pee on him so I told him, 'Get in the tub.'"

Second strangest? "I saw you sitting there and wanted to talk to you. You see I am friends with 12 Alpha Males, but I am the top Alpha Male. So I know how to be in charge."

Song of the day: System of a Down "Sugar" In the end it all goes away......