The movie "The Hurt Locker" was one that I was geeked to see as I had heard good things about it from the interwebs and the newspaper and the trailer I saw for it on HDnet. Some of the first words up on the screen are "War is a drug." And after seeing what war does to the star of the movie you get a sense of what that means. To get his "fix" he does what ever he can and the more normal he tries to be, the more he wants to be back disarming munitions. The movie had many suspenseful moments and with few explosion. If I remember the count right a movie about disarming bombs had four explosions. Hear that Micheal Bay, you hack of a movie man, you don't need to blow shit up a thousand times to make it exciting, loser.
That said here are a few things I learned from the movie "The Hurt Locker"
I learned that if you have a bomb with a big enough bang to blow up Jesus, you might as well take off you bomb suit so you can die comfortably.
I learned that babies love everything. The mobile, the jack in the, box the stuffed animals.
I also learned that when they get older they will discover the jack in the box is just a box with a stuffed animal.
Additionally they will only come to love two things, but our star of the movie only loved one thing.
I learned that Bravo company only had 38 days left.
I learned that Delta company has 365 days left.
I learned that war is a drug.
I learned that our star is a "wild man".
I learned that he has disarmed 873 bombs.
I learned that the best way to disarm a bomb is in "the way that doesn't get you killed"
I learned that responding to the Question "what is the best way to disarm a bomb?" with the answer "the way that doesn't get you killed" is something a wild man would say.
I learned that "*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive *trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive"
I learned that choosing cereal and all groceries can be too daunting a task for someone that wants to be back doing the on thing that they love.
I learned that street vendors speak like they learned English from a NWA rap album in Iraq.
I learned that if Beckham sells him one more DVD that is of shaky unfocused quality, he is going to cut his head off.
I learned he is kidding.
I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.
I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.
Definitely hard to joke about because it was pretty spectacular. But I did learn a few things:
ReplyDelete1) Pulling on the wire may lead to 6 other bombs.
2) Don't let anyone use a cell phone when you are disarming a bomb.
3) If you see someone filming you disarming a bomb, you will probably end up on youtube.
4) The movement in a group of goats is probably not a goat.
5) Getting shot in the leg can break your femur in 9 places.
6) If you see a guy with a bomb padlocked to his chest, he probably doesn't really want to die...but you also won't have time to cut through all six padlocks.
7) If your friend Beckham is gone one day, any child turned into an IED Body Bomb is probably Beckham...or maybe not.
8) You can get DVDs 3 for $13 in Iraq...although they might be shaky.
9) If you know where a whore house is - you can probably get on a military base.
10) When the US Military makes a wagon, the wheel tends to fall off.
My new wrestling name is Trigger Click Thompson.
ReplyDeleteWord Verification: flention. Seems like a real word.