Things I learned from the movie Kick Ass

Went to Kick Ass with Mike, Jessica and Keith and I learn a lot from it. So with that here are some of the things I learned from the movie Kick Ass:

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.


I learned he was good at getting his ass kicked. So instead of being called Kick Ass, he should have gone by Ass Kick *snort snort*



I learned a good father shoots his daughter with low velocity rounds.



I leaned his name is Dave Lizewski.

I learned that News stations will go to live Internet feeds, even if they are of live tortures then of live executions.

I learned her name is Mindy Macready.



I learned I was finally proven right that - "that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger" is true unless you are set on fire. If you are indeed set on fire, that will probably just kill you.



I learned that "Wait till they get a load of me" sound way cooler from Jack as the Joker then when it comes out of McLovin's mouth.



I learned that if you want to reach Big Daddy and Hit Girl you can contact the mayor and he shines a light into the sky.



I learned that the light that shines in the sky is in the shape of a cock.



I also learned you can just make your web site say you are on vacation and they will find you instead.



I learned that when you get a bazooka no one questions you on it.



I learned that Spiderman themed kids birthday parties are fine, but a Kick Ass themed one? come on.... what are parents thinking?



I learned that if the hot girl in school thinks you are gay then you get to have a sleep overs with her and wear a banana hammock and rub self tanner on her.

I also learned when you show up and tell her you are a super hero and not gay you will get hairspray in the eyes and a tennis racket to the face.

I then learned she will have sex with you. Lots of it.

I learned that simply dressing up in a super suit and jumping off a build won't help you any. Especially if you are an Armenian with mental problems. But because you are in a super suit, the public will applaud your suicide.

I learn the Red Mist had WAAAYYY cooler wheels than Kick Ass.

I learned that $300,000.00 will get you a jet pack. If you want Gatling guns mounted on it you are on you own for that.

I learned that the wood drying microwave is bad for ones health if you are put in it with it turned on.

I learned Dave Lizewski has 34 online friends, Kick Ass has 16,000 and counting.

I learned that being able to feel no physical pain will allow you to take enough of a beating to give a better one out.

I learned if Hit Girl wasn't there Kick Ass would be dead, consequently if Kick Ass hadn't been there Big Daddy would still be alive.

I learned that being shot for real hurts a lot more.

I learned that trained killers will let a little school girl in the door.

I also learned that same school girl will use the technique of one to the chest and one to the dome to confirm her kills.

I learned that $3,000,000.00 in a suitcase is planning for the future.

I learned that Frank D'Amico owes her a childhood.

I learned that I like Craig Ferguson a little more each day.

I learned that if you tell the king pin that a man dressed like Batman ("NO I NEVER SAID HE LOOKED LIKE BATMAN") beat you up and took the coke, he won't believe you.

I learned that taking a teddy bear from a burning build won't seem strange at all if you just brush the question of it off.

I learned that other super heroes will search you out to be your side kick. Don't be alarmed by this, it probably won't be a trap.

I learned that just because you are narrating it doesn't mean you are still alive, go watch American Beauty or something...

and lastly I learned that in America stick is pronounce BASEBALL BAT!