The Good, the Bad, the Terrible

I went for another shirt woot random shirt drop. One of these times I think I am going to have to stop. Be warned right now, if you have a birthday or an anniversary or a bah mitzvah or a day that you just wake up..... you may be getting a bad shirt coming your way.

Here was the text from the order screen, they had me at "The Thing":

A Blind Date With Apparel

Mrs. Gump was a Liar
Because here’s the thing: With most boxed chocolate samplers, you do, in fact, know what you’re going to get.
(No, actually, here’s the Thing: “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!” But seriously, folks.)
Maybe Mother Gump just couldn’t figure out how to read the key on the bottom of the box, or the list of ingredients, or the bold print on the front that said “Fancy Chocolate-Covered Crickets.” Hey, it happens. Illiteracy is no capital crime. It’s a shame for her, naturally, but she wasn’t hurting anybody but herself. Well, herself and maybe her Valentine on any given year.
But you can’t go spouting folk wisdom based on bad facts. Your result may still be folksy, but the “wisdom” part is fatally compromised. It’s like telling people “there’s no ‘I’ in ‘cooperation,’” or “you can’t make any kind of purse from a sow’s ear.” Because you can, and our sister’s got a cute little tanned pigskin clutch to prove it. It goes with almost any outfit!
Which is good for her, because she buys all her shirts in random batches from shirt.woot, sight unseen.
So she nevuh knows whut sh’gon’ gay-yut.
Wear this shirt: in the spirit of taking life as it comes. You’re like a downy feather, riding the zephyrs of ever-changing fortune, going wherever fate leads you, and wearing whatever comes in the mail!
Don’t wear this shirt: if it’s important to you what kind of impression you make.
This shirt tells the world: “You’d have to be an idiot to pay full price! And I’m no idiot! I just look like one because of this stupid shirt. But what a deal!”
We call this color: Any Color Will Do

Who could resist that fun little write up? If you say "I could resist it." The the terrorists have already won.

Well now for the shirts.

First the Good:

from Jan 18th Robots....

1. 
   A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.




2. 
   A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.




3. 
   A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

You have to love Asimov's 3 laws. And this shirt does a great job or showing how they will all end up with your "helpful" robot.

Wear this shirt: All the time. Seriously. This shirt is amazing. We’ve got one on right now.
Don’t wear this shirt: In front of your Roomba. You don’t want that guy getting ideas.
This shirt tells the world: Me and Elijah Baley are tight like that.
We call this color: Asphaltimov

The Bad:

The Notorious B.I.R.D. There is actually kind of a funny rap at that link for this shirt. It is OK, I just don't really care for baby blue that much, or Biggie Smalls for that matter.

Wear this shirt: to intimidate the cat. You had your day, kitty, and you might be a legend, but the sparrows are under new management, if you follow me. Be smart, kitty.

Don't wear this shirt: on the Bloods’ turf. You will get SO busted by multiple caps in your singular ass for at least two different reasons.

This shirt tells the world: “Don’t you think that little bird to the side should have been a puffin daddy?” We call this color: BABY Blue? Damn, she looked eighteen at the club! My bad, just take a couple mill on your way out. I keep a petty cash box by the Hummer for just this reason

And last, The Terrible:

Everyone knows about the bird.... Oh No....

This shirt is just worthless and yellow, and the fact it was the second bird shirt, I have the feeling of "RANDOM?!?! my ass!"

Wear this shirt: while tweeting from art class.
Don’t wear this shirt: on spaghetti night, unless you’re a much neater eater than we.
This shirt tells the world: “Papa ooh ma-mow-mow, papa ooh mow ma-mow,” repeatedly
We call this color: Lemon Yellow Bird

Overall I give this random woot shirt colect 4 "Mehs" out of 5. The only saving grace was the robot shirt which illicited 1 Chris Hansen "AAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" from me.