After "Clash of the Titans" anything would have to be better, at least that is what I told myself. So it was just Me and Gubby off to the movies last night and it was "Hot Tube Time Machine", I can't lie... I was looking forward to this one. It didn't matter to me that Cas and Tad Chilly didn't want to come, it didn't matter that Floyd couldn't make it, it didn't matter if Cas asked the magic 8-ball on my palm pre if "Cam will hate the move tonight" and it said "it is decidedly so" it didn't matter that 3 follow up questions to the 8-ball all confirmed I was going to hate the movie, I wanted to see it!
The night started off good, $1.00 bottles of beer at Joe's Pub in Johnston. Can't go wrong with that! And they had pizza too, so beer and pizza for dinner, hanging with Tad Chilly and C-razy good good good.
Then I had a sign that the movie was going to be just what the doctor ordered (I
wonder who came up with that as a phrase). Walking to the theater I saw this in a car window. A CAMel, it doesn't get much better than that I think.
We saw a couple of previews... Kick Ass which I am geeked for.... The Loser also excited to see and I saw the first full length Nightmare on Elm Street trailer in the theater... Let's just say that Freddy isn’t looking to be into campy fun in this one. The trailer closed with him yelling "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? I HAVEN’T EVEN CUT YOU YET!" HaHa oh Freddy, you so funny.
If you are going to the movie and haven't yet hear me now!
YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Things I learned from the movie "Hot Tub Time Machine"
I learned that if you break the third wall and stare into the camera after saying "Maybe it is a hot tub time machine" a la Mr Roper from Three Company it is not only funny, but lets the watchers know your aren't taking yourself too seriously.
I learned that in real life if you lean over to your buddy and ask if you just saw Chevy Chase for a split second in the hot tub painted up like Beetle Juice and one minute later Chevy Chase is on the screen, you just may have indeed seen him for a split second only a minute ago.
I learned that if you barf on a squirrel after time traveling it may come back to haunt you with that squirrel getting revenge and ruining "The Drive" for Denver, thus losing you thousands of dollars and forcing you to perform and oral trick on your male friend. Remember folks, a bet is a bet.
I learned that she was his WHITE BUFFALO, White Buffalo, white buffalo, w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o
I learned that if you got stabbed in the eye in the past, even if you change how things went you still get stabbed in the eye.
I learned that if your name is Lou and you decided to stay behind to relieve that past with all you know of the future if may proved to be financially beneficial. Examples include you starting the web giant Lougle and fronting the band Motley Lou.
I learned this movie was 500 times more entertaining than Clash of the Titans
I learned that if you went to the mountains to ski in 1986 you traveled like you were Hunter S. Thompson with 'shrooms, weed, cocaine and the like.
I learned that if in the present your wife is cheating on you and you call the 9-year old version of her in the past and graphically describe all the terrible things she had done, it will affect her in a way so as to make her never want to cheat in the first place.
I learned that since in 1986 there wasn't twitter, e-mail, facebook or cell phones having to simply find a girl that you met later "sounds like a lot of work"
I learned that if you write fan fiction for deep space 9 that probably makes you the group expert in time travel.
I learned that if you if your black friend has a tall flat tap and you tell him he looks like Kid and Play, the appropriate response is to say "Kid and Play are two people"
I learned that if in the present Crispin Glover only has one arm but in the past has two, it is not only appropriate but acceptable to be bummed every time he doesn't lose his arm in near accidents.
I learned there are lots of other things that are hard to blog about in the PG-13 way.
I learned w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o
The night started off good, $1.00 bottles of beer at Joe's Pub in Johnston. Can't go wrong with that! And they had pizza too, so beer and pizza for dinner, hanging with Tad Chilly and C-razy good good good.
Then I had a sign that the movie was going to be just what the doctor ordered (I
wonder who came up with that as a phrase). Walking to the theater I saw this in a car window. A CAMel, it doesn't get much better than that I think.We saw a couple of previews... Kick Ass which I am geeked for.... The Loser also excited to see and I saw the first full length Nightmare on Elm Street trailer in the theater... Let's just say that Freddy isn’t looking to be into campy fun in this one. The trailer closed with him yelling "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? I HAVEN’T EVEN CUT YOU YET!" HaHa oh Freddy, you so funny.
If you are going to the movie and haven't yet hear me now!
YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Things I learned from the movie "Hot Tub Time Machine"
I learned that if you break the third wall and stare into the camera after saying "Maybe it is a hot tub time machine" a la Mr Roper from Three Company it is not only funny, but lets the watchers know your aren't taking yourself too seriously.
I learned that in real life if you lean over to your buddy and ask if you just saw Chevy Chase for a split second in the hot tub painted up like Beetle Juice and one minute later Chevy Chase is on the screen, you just may have indeed seen him for a split second only a minute ago.
I learned that if you barf on a squirrel after time traveling it may come back to haunt you with that squirrel getting revenge and ruining "The Drive" for Denver, thus losing you thousands of dollars and forcing you to perform and oral trick on your male friend. Remember folks, a bet is a bet.
I learned that she was his WHITE BUFFALO, White Buffalo, white buffalo, w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o
I learned that if you got stabbed in the eye in the past, even if you change how things went you still get stabbed in the eye.
I learned that if your name is Lou and you decided to stay behind to relieve that past with all you know of the future if may proved to be financially beneficial. Examples include you starting the web giant Lougle and fronting the band Motley Lou.
I learned this movie was 500 times more entertaining than Clash of the Titans
I learned that if you went to the mountains to ski in 1986 you traveled like you were Hunter S. Thompson with 'shrooms, weed, cocaine and the like.
I learned that if in the present your wife is cheating on you and you call the 9-year old version of her in the past and graphically describe all the terrible things she had done, it will affect her in a way so as to make her never want to cheat in the first place.
I learned that since in 1986 there wasn't twitter, e-mail, facebook or cell phones having to simply find a girl that you met later "sounds like a lot of work"
I learned that if you write fan fiction for deep space 9 that probably makes you the group expert in time travel.
I learned that if you if your black friend has a tall flat tap and you tell him he looks like Kid and Play, the appropriate response is to say "Kid and Play are two people"
I learned that if in the present Crispin Glover only has one arm but in the past has two, it is not only appropriate but acceptable to be bummed every time he doesn't lose his arm in near accidents.
I learned there are lots of other things that are hard to blog about in the PG-13 way.
I learned w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o
I learned that
ReplyDelete*Chernobly is magic
*Unlike Jon Carr, you will be fine if you ski off a huge cliff.
*It is perfectly acceptable to describe a certain body part as "Looks like Gary Coleman's arm"
*Adam sux cox N dix
*BEP goes over well with any crowd
*You can recognize the 80s by leg warmers, jheri curl, cassette players, where's the beef t-shirts, and the fact that Michael Jackson is black
*If you happen to be in a ski resort in 1986 you will see all of these things plus Ronald Regan on TV and hear Safety Dance on the radio.
*You will probably become bitter if you lose an arm.
*Ski patrol are jerks...no matter what movie.
*You can feel pregnant 5 seconds after sex...and say so.
*If you haven't been born in 1986 you will appear your normal age but flicker if your future is in doubt.
*Hand soap in a men's bathroom can look like semen if used properly
*You can fix everything wrong with your life by spending one night in the past.
I would've gone, but I wasn't invited.
ReplyDeleteWord Verification - Hatinne
As in, Cam be hatinne on Thad.