There be spoilers that follow, so if you think you may want to be *eeerrr ahhem* surprised by the movie twilight stop reading now! Below is the trailer to refresh your memory of the crap that is... Twilight
Ah the movie Twilight. I HATED this piece a shit movie. Now before any of you 30 something housewives tell me I am wrong hear me out.
1) They play baseball. Oh, my gaaaawwwdd. They play baseball. But because they are so good they can only play during a thunderstorm to hide their awesome hitting skills. Other vampires will show up for this family pick-up game. I hated this movie.2) They CAN be in the sunlight. It doesn't hurt them. It just makes them sparkly like diamonds. FREAKING DIAMONDS. I freaking hated this movie.
3) Edward, who for some reason the 30 somethings find dreamy, can read minds, never sleep, eat animals instead of people. WOW along with playing baseball and being super fast and being super shiney he is a whole new kind of vampire, but not a kind I care about. This movie sucked
4) Edward, who can read minds, for some reason can't read Bella's mind. She is "special". So special... so special... and the mom, and the baseball player boyfriend, and the cars, and the dad drinking and cleaning guns..... I want to scream
5) there seem to be more "good" vampires than "bad" ones. This to me seems to fly in the face of the whole reason the vampire was ever invented. Angels/daemons good/evil human emotions/vampire lust.. UUUGGGGHHH I hated this movie.
6) lead the girl on, make her want you , make her want to be a vampire. Then tell her to control herself. You know once in a class in college were were asked to write down what we would do if we were invisible. I said I might go to the girls shower, everyone else said they would fight crime of some other bullshit. I got an A, and he told the class "one person got an A, the rest of you are liars." That is what I think of when there is a "good" vampires. LIIIIIIAAAAAARRRRRR, just stupid. This movie sucks
7) "Say it out loud" "Vampire" Been a lot cooler if she had said "Candyman. Candyman. Candyman."
8) Immortal? you know who I would pick in a fight against Edward? the Predetor
Here is the deleted sex scene from the movie:
I just didn't see anything new in this vampire story...ok, I've never heard of vampires playing baseball. Falling in love with a human, eating animals instead of people, sunlight revealing their true natures, good vamps and bad vamps...that is all old hat. I guess I don't get the appeal, but I have probably read way more vamp novels than most and am a little jaded on the subject.
ReplyDeleteNot that it was a terrible movie to me, it just wasn't anything special. I did enjoy the drinking while cleaning the shotgun scene, you just don't see enough of that today.
I have thought about reading the books since they came out (I have read a lot of vampire books), but will not now that Stephenie Meyer (author) decided to scrap the last book after some of it was leaked onto the internet. That is just punishing fans. I agree that she should be pissed, but she is punishing her fans not the person that posted it. I don't know, it just seems like the wrong way to handle the situation. Did she think that most people wouldn't still buy the book? There are many things that I have tested out on the internet which made me buy the product.
I have neither read the books nor seen the movie, but I have a 30 something wife who has, which is to say that I know way more about this Dawson's Creek version of what can be an interesting genre. Anne Rice already did it better 20 years ago.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I'm willing to bet that philosophy class was taught by Dr. Pauley. Damm he's awesome.
I would have liked it better if Edward was named Sparkles.
ReplyDeleteDid not see it, don't want to see it. If I want vampire movies, I will watch the Blade series.
ReplyDelete