Things I learned from Pineapple Express

Not a movie for small kids or old adults. Thankfully no one that goes with me to these movies falls into either of those categories. While this movie was very funny from beginning to end I did manage to learn a few things from it.

I learned that if you are going to be fighting it is best to shave your pits, as it will make you more aerodynamic for said fighting.

I learned it probably isn't the best idea to stick your thumb through your zipper to make it look like a penis when you are trying to thumb a ride.

I learned that coughing gets you ten times higher.

I learned that God's vagina smells like Pineapple Express.

I also learned you will probably want to live in the bag that hols the Pineapple Express.

I learned that talk radio is so boring if you leave you car on listening to it and you pass out, your car will commit suicide.

I learned it is really fun to say "Thug Life" when cocking a shotgun.

I learned that you probably shouldn't eat a blow pop from a strippers vagina.

I learned that no matter what the situation if you are being forced down a hole to your death it is best to ask if there is a Rancor waiting for you at the bottom of the hole.

I learned that if you get you ear shot off it will either look cool or gross.

I learned that no matter how bad ass you are if you get hit by a Daewoo Lanos it will mess your nuts up. Also you will get your foot shot off.

I learned that Ted Jones is a killer. And he got served.

I learned that if you tell your g-friend unit that you love her to get her back and she then mentions marriage you should end it because she is immature.

I learned that even if your cat has been dead for three months you should keep the litter box in the kitchen. Also you should continue to celebrate that cat's birthday with a cake.

I learned that most people just want want to get home and have dinner with their wife and that desire will get you shot.




I learned that the army made weed in 1937. Also while testing the effect on humans it makes you feel like melting butter on flap jacks. Additionally when you are asked questions about your superiors you will bust out some jazz riffs and drum beats.





I learned that if your captors say they can hear what you are planning, it probably means they can hear what you are planning.

I learned that if you shoot a man that then swings to your feet you should empty your machine gun into him just to make sure.

LASTLY

I learned that Pineapple Express is so good that smoking it is a major crime, just like killing a unicorn.



Next movie is Mama Mia, I think that there is a better than great chance, I am skipping it!

PEACE!