Things I learned from the Terminator Salvation

If you are reading this…you are the resistance.

yaaaaarrrrrr there be spoilers down below, so proceed with caution. Ye have been warned.

Let me start off by saying that I understand it is a movie. And that is is a Science Fiction movie. And that certain things just have to be accepted in order for this movie to be believable. Let me also say, I have no problem with a future where machines are aware. I have no problem that machines will strike first so that we won't turn them off. I have no problem with making human machine cyborgs. I have no problem with transformers, human grabbers, face suckers or any other type of autonomous machine. I do have great problems with continuity issues. I have even bigger problems with things that are so far removed form reality that they can't even be believed in a science fiction movie.

with that here is what I learned:

I learned that one helicopter crash after a nuclear explotion is easy to walk away from.

I learned that two helicopter crashes are easy to walk away from.

I learned a possible third helicopter crash would have been just silly, so that helicopter doesn't crash from a nuclear explosion.

I learned that there will be a mute girl, but they won't tell you why.

I learned to kill the first generation terminators it is easiest to make Rube Goldberg machines to first catch and then crush them.

I learned that if you have a sound machine that turns off all terminator and terminator like machine, you won't use it when you go to Cyberdyne to kill all the machines. You will simply gloss over the fact you own one of these sound machines.

I learned that a human machine hybrid can tear his own machine processing ship out and all the machine parts will still work.

I learned that talking too long on the submarine radio can and will be bad for your health.

I learned that if you are going to show it is man against the machines make sure you have a leader from every continent together stereotypically dressed up. ie a Russian, china man, dude from the middle east....

I learned that if you want to live you should go with him.

I learned that John Conner would be back.

I learned that if you make a terminator movie you must jump motor cycles off of bridges.

I learned that Alice in Chains is all but forgotten in 2018.

I learned that a man executed in 2003 somehow is able to be reborn in 2018 as a machine/man hybrid yet his brain and heart are still good to go.

I learned that surgery in 2018 is performed out in the desert with sand blowing around.

I learned that after that surgery doesn't work heart replacement surgery will. In the desert. Sure some of these people can't make cars work, but they do remember how to replace a heart. don't worry about rejection drugs, infection, matching blood types that is all silly talk.

I lerned that if your face gets scratched up it will be scabbed over later that day, but after your heart transplant those same wounds will need to be bandaged with blood flowing everywhere.

I learned that when you want to make time pass just make it night from day and people will just accept the fact he traveled hundreds of miles.

I learned that in 2018 San Fransisco is the root of all evil.

I learned that a five finger death punch from a terminator only stops the heart is doesn't explode it like Uma Thurman would.

I learned that even though almost everythign has been blown up there is still time for the whitest teeth, shaving, and lip stick during the war against machines.

I learned that Marla Singer is the face chosen by the machines to represent them.

I learned that the machines aren't networked together very well and that they don't believe in hacker security.

I learned that humans may have won the battle, but humans haven't won the war.

I learned that even though they have been retired countless times, the A-10 Warthog will once again but put back into service to fight the machines.

I learned that if the guy that produces "Chuck" is involved there is going to be an uncomfortable scene where it looks like the hybrid is being hooked into the intersect.

I learned that maybe McG should stick to making TV shows

I learned that if you want to piss off the Machines play a Guns N Roses track from T2,

I learned that two day old coyote is better than three day old coyote.

I learned that even though people live in a gas station in the middle of the desert they can still get fresh vegetables and milk.

I learned that in the future, don’t go swimming in the river.