YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED, but as you haven't seen this movie yet, you probably never will so read on!
- I learned I think women like men that talk very little. I think Ryan Gosling said 20 words in the first 4 scenes. In the second scene he might not have said one word.
- I learned that even though I am not shocked easily, I found it a little shocking when a woman's head popped off from a shotgun blast.
- Additionally, I learned her head getting popped off was not nearly as shocking as the man with the shotgun getting a towel rod plunged into his jugular so he could bleed to death.
- I learned that I was happy that I did already know the story of the scorpion and the frog.
- I learned that him wearing a scorpion jacket was a little over the top.
- I learned the mixing of '80s sounds and fonts and '10s cars and places was a strange combination.
- I learned that if you get blood on your favorite scorpion jacket, you don't clean it, you just keep wearing it. No one in LA will care.
- I learned that when Ryan Gosling slowly disappeared behind a door, it made me think of Jon Luvitz, and that made me laugh.
- I learned that breaking into you employers office to steal a mask you used in a movie for a stunt so you can kill a guy in the ocean seems like a lot of work that wasn't needed.
- I learned that a 300 with a Hemi will keep up just fine with a Boss Mustang.
- I learned that if you give the next door kid a bullet and tell him to hold onto it, Ryan Gosling will hold onto it for him.
- I learned after hammering the man's hand that gave the kid the bullet he will then contemplate hammering the bullet through the man's forehead.
- I learned that strippers out in California must have really "seen it all" because as they watch their boss get his hand and face hammered they will just sit there like it is another day in the office.
- I learned that if you just pull into a parking garage near the Staples Center as a game is letting out, you can just walk past cops looking for you.
- I learned that some women are surprisingly understanding when you literally stomp a man's head off that was going to kill her. Probably because you just made out with her.
- I learned it is probably a bad idea to do additional business with they guy that broke your hip the last time you did business with him.
- I learned that a tooth pick is vital to the cool vintage look.
- I learned that you get five minutes, anything happened before or after that, not his problem.
- I learned that if you want to impress you neighbor and her kid, take them for a ride down the storm water runoff in LA, then play in the pond at the end.
- I learned that if you recognise Ryan Gosling from a previous job and ask him to be your wheel man again you should shut your mouth or he will kick your teeth down your throat and shut if for you.
- I learned that the interest fee charged by some guys for protection in jail can get out of hand very quickly.
- And lastly I learned that Ron Pearlman couldn't find pussy in a whorehouse.
