Completely Awesome

Completely Awesome! That was the name of my bowling team this year. Another team turned in their team name before us, it was Borderline Awesome. So in a show of oneupsmanship I trumped their team name with a better one. Tuesday was the last night of bowling, position night. And it just so happened that Completely Awesome was bowling off against Borderline Awesome. Whilst I would like to write the fairytale ending that Completely beat "Bored"erline and we won the title.... it just didn't happen. We were in the running for something great down the stretch, but going 1 and 7 the last two weeks pretty much ended any hopes for awards....

Meet the team:

Bowling in the first position for us all year was Brad. He has a blue ball bag. He likes getting hot (on the lanes)and bowling huge games and long walks in the park. He likes beer and pizza and having the highest average on the team. While Brad's feet may look like like they have never seen the sun is, it a little bit of camera magic, those are actually his white socks. Not actually his feet! Amazing I know. Also, don't think his pants are too short either, the weather in Iowa got warm enough to wear shorts... Brad is one crazy cat. The blue ball bag is his for reals, the sweet looking viking ball sack is mine, and no you can't touch it and yes there is 1 blue ball in there.












Second up all year was Kevin. He throws a straight ball that sometimes does "one of these." When he isn't being forced to stay at work and miss bowling he likes to ruin other team's evenings by going crazy high over his average. He likes diet pop and pizza and he too like long walks in the park. Again some camera magic is at work here, Kevin is not actually a black shadow figure like you would have the pleasure seeing on Ghost Hunters (man those guys are great *he says sarcastically ) No, that isn't the case at all, Kev is actually facing the other way, that is why his head seems all black, it is his hair. Now his body appears black from his clothes. How we made him to look like he has no arms was difficult but we got it. We had him hold a bowling ball. Now you know almost all my photographing secrets.





Third spot was filled by Monica. She like counting money and long finger nails. She also like being the best female bowling in the league. She throws a hook and has very oily balls when she first gets to the lanes each Tuesday. She like fruity Seagrams wine coolers and long walks in the park. A little trick we used here in this photo was to make you think it was Jersey Shore's Snookie, but that's where we got you, it is Monica in an orange shirt, not Snookie in orange skin. Maybe our best photo gag yet, if I do say so myself. Monica is famous for having not 1, but 2 bowling leaves named for her at our bowling table. the 1 - 2 - 10 leave is the "Monica", where as the 1 - 2 - 4 - 10 is forever known as the "Mills". What we have found out over the years is if you don't get a lot of lift and slowly have you ball hit solidly into the 3 pin instead of the pocket, there is a good chance for one of these leaves. And for all the times I have seen it left by Monica I have 1 text message claiming she picked up the Mills and I was there to the the Monica picked up in person once. Come bowling with us and there are a few things for certain, we will tell you to "bowl better", and if you consistently produce a bad leave, we will name it after you. That is how we roll! (get it, bowling joke)




Fourth was me, El Guapo, that means "the one who chokes at bowling" in Mexican I think. I am 94% sure that is what is means.. 80%......44% sure it means that. I like leaving 10 pins for open frames. I like Beer and pizza. I like throwing monster hooks. Strangely enough I do not like long walks in the park, I prefer them on the beach. I have found it hard to take photos of myself with the Palm Pre. Thankfully I have found it almost Therapeutic to paint self portraits though. This one is titled "1 Win 7 Loses to Close out the Season - a Self Portrait" Note the sad eyes and face. I really thought we had a chance this year, and that is my fault for things good things are coming. See if you have no expectations then mediocre things are a pleasant surprise. Kind of like being married to me. I set your hopes so low that average everyday things seem so wonderful.....

The end of early bowling party has been set up for the 30th of April. A good time had by most unless Chuck blows up a char and heaves it off a balcony again. but other than that it will be fantastic.



For those of you that were there, here is Jim, Troy and Tracie singing you a tune to remember them by.

Things I like

I got in the car after bowling last night. Hit the exterior temp control on the dash and there it was 7:30PM and it was 69 degrees. To some people that is great, a warm temperature, to me it is freaking funny. I don't know how or when it started but in my family and circle of friends the number 69 elicits a cackle of a laugh. You just point and give your best "HeHeHe" in a creepy old man laugh. If your tongue hangs out a bit all the better.

Drive past exit 69 on the highway? HeHeHe.

Team scores a 669 total game bowling? HeHeHe.

Jared Allen makes a tackle for a loss? HeHeHe.

See how the possibilities are endless with this?!?!

Sure I know it is juvenile at best, and maybe a little creepy at the worst. But to me it it is funny and will probably not ever be not funny. I am a simple man with simple likes. And for what ever reason this is one of them. Maybe now I need to get into NASCAR and see if there is a driver with the number 69 (HeHeHe). I guess I could set my favorite channel on the remote to recall 69 or 169 every time I click it HeHeHe. Oh this is never going to end.


Speaking of bowling Last night a young man that I thought may have been with the table next to us (turns out he wasn't) just plopped down with our work league and started chatting it up with us.

There were a few things this kid needed but I will tell you the things he did not.

He did not need confidence to sit down and strike up a conversation with people much older than him.

He didn't need an explanation on how the game of bowling is played.

He didn't need to be taught how to knuckle pound or high five or when to use them.

And Lastly he most certainly didn't need a haircut. This boy's mullet was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. When I was growing up, having a hair cut like this was just having long hair. Today it is a fashion choice and this kid rocked it. The only thing that may have made it a bit better is if he was wearing a shirt that somehow worked the number 69 onto it HeHEHE.


After Church on Sunday Jamie Lou and I tried to stop by the Waveland Cafe for some breakfast. It used to be a place we liked to go even though it was one of the smokier places around. Maybe in third place after the Front Row and Cooneys. But now that it is smoke free it would be perfect. Only apparently everyone else feels this way now as the place was more than a little bit packed. every seat was filled and there was a line of people waiting to get seated. There wasn't a lot of talking going on and there was a felling of pissed off/angry in the air from everyone that was eating. No smiles were on faces that I could see. So Jamie Lou decided to drive me to the other side of the world to try breakfast at MiMi's. Let's just say that the combination of screaming baby, 18 inch celery stalk in my bloody mary that when removed lowered the bloody mary volume in my glass by 20%, smudged mirrors, elitist emo kid meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time and telling the world his parents were wrong to be getting divorced in a voice loud enough to be heard next door, and so-so food left me less than impressed. I did like that they said it would be 15 minutes and it was only a 5 minute wait. As Jamie Lou says, under promise and over deliver and with the wait time they did it. But with everything else MiMi's may have made the Old Milwaukee Never Again list with me.

Song of the day: "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check" Busta Rhymes. It makes me sad that videos are almost a thing of the past. In college when this bad boy showed up on MTv(yes you younger readers out there Music Television used to show music videos) I was like WOO HA, that is effing awesome.