Thoughts From Iowa About Anything

Movie Invite, tonight (Jan 19)

2012-01-19T14:37:00.001-06:00

Tonight (1-19) Cobblestone we are going to "Contraband" with Marky Mark. The movie starts at 7:15. If anyone wants to we could meet up at Joe's Pub before hand. If you are coming or want to meet up before just get ahold of me

movie write up from Flixster:

Chris Farraday (Mark Wahlberg) long ago abandoned his life of crime, but after his brother-in-law, Andy (Caleb Landry Jones), botches a drug deal for his ruthless boss, Tim Briggs (Giovanni Ribisi), Chris is forced back into doing what he does best- running contraband-to settle Andy's debt. Chris is a legendary smuggler and quickly assembles a crew with the help of his best friend, Sebastian (Ben Foster), for one final run to Panama and back, hoping to return with millions in counterfeit bills. Things quickly fall apart and with only hours to reach the cash, Chris must use his rusty skills to successfully navigate a treacherous criminal network of brutal drug lords, cops and hit men before his wife, Kate (Kate Beckinsale), and sons become their target.

Song of the Day (reminds Me of College) Offspring "Self Esteem":

T.F.A.N.B.T.N.B.T.N.B.C.N.O.D.

2011-12-21T15:02:00.000-06:00

Well T.A.N.B.T.N.O.D. fell apart this year as we were out of town, so that is why this year we are starting up the T.F.A.N.B.T.N.B.T.N.B.C.N.O.D. (The First Annual Night Before The Night Before The Night Before Christmas Night Of Debauchery).

This is going to be a very low-key event this year.

Going to meet at Carlos O'Kellys 6PM on Merle Hay for $0.99 mug draw and $0.99 mug-o-ritas and food of your choice.... if you have time....

Then Old Chicago 6:30...
Then Irina's 7PM
Then Mickey's 7:30PM
Then off to Billy Joe's around 8ish, for a night of fun and singing.

Give a shout if you think you can make it on Thursday the 22nd!

Adventures in trying to play Skyrim

2011-11-14T11:07:00.001-06:00

1) 11:30 AM I bought sky to play on Friday
2) 7PM wife wanted to go to dinner had too much wine to play that night
3) 8AM Saturday had to go to Simpson to talk to future Math-letes that might want to come to Simpson
4) 4PM sister's b-day - went to dinner and the bar got home at midnight
5) 12:30 AM fire up the old xbox for the first time in a few months
6) 12:31AM find out my Yamaha receiver is fried
7) 12:32AM slip in Skyrim
8) 12:33AM get told I need to apply updates to play the game
9) 12:37AM receive an "E66" error
10) 12:38AM go to xbox support like the screen says
11) 12:39AM unplug and plug back in, turn on receive "E66"
12) 12:40AM go to xbox support like the screen says
12) 12:41AM unplug, remove hard drive, put back in hard drive, plug in and turn on receive "E66"
13) 12:42AM start going to other web sites
14) 12:43AM find that "E66" means marked for being Modded
15) 12:44AM say, play offline
16) 12:45AM have the machine tell me I can't play without updating
17) 12:38AM rage quit and go to bed.
18) 10:00AM skip church and make wife go alone, go to best buy
19) 10:30AM buy new xbox, Yamaha hdmi receiver, many hdmi cables
20) 11:00AM kook up new receiver and run cable box through it
21) 11:05AM it is GLORIOUS! the sound the picture
22) 11:30AM stop watching SALT and start hooking up new xbox
23) 12:00PM done configuring and importing gamertag
24) 12:01PM get call to go to lunch with wife and friends after church
25) 12:30PM go to Old Chicago and have lunch and beer
26) 2:00PM maybe too much drink from party night before, lay head down on pillow
27) 6:30PM slip in Skyrim into new black xbox
28) 6:31PM be told I need to download updates to play
29) 6:37PM press start to play
30) 7:30PM wife wants to watch TV, I haven't even made it to the first town, I am exploring ever inch, finding camps, having over 300pounds of gear moving very slowly
31) 7:45PM wife very unhappy, find an inn and save game
32) 10PM fire the game back up, cross bridge head north
33) 10:05PM avoid arrows, find door, golden claw event started
34) 10:10PM kill 2 fools, steal every thing
35)10:20PM finish exploring first cave room continue on
36) 11:15PM kill spider, get golden claw, fight living dead things, loot urns, explore every inch
37) 11:20PM take dog outside, he really had to pee
38) 11:25PM return to find I am dead
39) 11:30PM start over, find I am spawned way before the spider that I killed first
40) 11:31PM spider kills me in 2 seconds
41) 11:32PM rage quit
42) 11:33PM watch next episode of "Dexter"
43) 12:15AM watch next episode of "Once Upon a Time"
44) 1:00AM go to bed

Things I learned from the movie "50/50"

2011-10-31T14:15:00.001-05:00

Went to the movie "50/50" a few weeks back and it was a nice little movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen already made an unfunny version of this movie with Adam Sandler called oddly enough "Funny People"

I give the movie a B, and call it not for children under 16. With that, here is what I learned:

I learned that at 50/50 if he were Vegas, he would have the best odds.

I learned that even though you don't drink or smoke and even wait for the crosswalk to say "walk" when you are out jogging, you still might get cancer.

I learned that you mother might have a hard time coping if you have cancer and you father has Alzheimer's at the same time.

I learned that you refusing to take your mother's calls during this time, might be a pretty dick move.

I learned that they tried to make his girlfriend out to be a monster, but I didn't feel she was that mean to him.

I learned that telling someone they can leave and don't have to be with you, might end up with you getting the opposite of what you wanted.

I learned that if you get a skinny rescue greyhound and you can see his bones, the only logical name for him is Skeletor.

I learned that after you get cancer that is the time to start smoking pot.

I learned that pot won't be yours by prescription, but your buddy's because he has bad night vision, something about the rods in his eyes.

I learned that telling women you have cancers is a good pick up line that you should get into as quickly as possible in a conversation.

I learned that is actually wrong and just is creepy.

I learned if you don't try and pick up chicks because of your cancer, your best friend will.

I learned that if you are writing a piece on a volcano, bust take a while to get it on the air, that volcano my just erupt.

I learned that if you seem pathetic enough you brand new shrink might fall for you.

I learned that your shrink might not like you throwing out her dinner with the rest of the trash from her car as you clean it out.

I learned what you are going through is probably normal, but that doesn't make it any better.

I learned if you are an artist and no one comes to your opening to buy anything, that is probably a bad thing.

I learned that it is probably a worse thing if your art is improved with a knife and fire.

I learned if you have a really bad cancer and the chemo doesn't help, they can do a surgery and tell you everything is fine a few hours later.

I learned that if you are putting ointments in to your friend's back wound you probably should not use you pinky finger, but the cotton swabs next to you.

And lastly I learned that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is looking a whole lot like Heath Ledger.

Next up, things I learned in the movie "Real Steel"

Song of the day, give the video a chance, it starts creepy and gets stranger from there.:

Movie Invite for tonight (10/27)

2011-10-27T14:26:00.002-05:00

Real Steel it is, not necessarily because it seems like the best movie ever, but it does seem like the best movie out right now. Joe's pub after work, Merle Hay Mall Theater at 7PM after that. Shoot a text or drop a message if you think you are coming.

Song of the day, haha a good one I loved hip hop back then:

Things I learned from the movie "Drive"

2011-10-25T11:15:00.001-05:00

Went to the movie "Drive" some weeks back. I really enjoyed it. A movie about a man that obviously has been there and done that when it comes to the bad things in life, but just can't seem to ever get out of the game even though he seems to be trying to do the right thing.

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED, but as you haven't seen this movie yet, you probably never will so read on!

I learned I think women like men that talk very little. I think Ryan Gosling said 20 words in the first 4 scenes. In the second scene he might not have said one word.

I learned that even though I am not shocked easily, I found it a little shocking when a woman's head popped off from a shotgun blast.

Additionally, I learned her head getting popped off was not nearly as shocking as the man with the shotgun getting a towel rod plunged into his jugular so he could bleed to death.

I learned that I was happy that I did already know the story of the scorpion and the frog.

I learned that him wearing a scorpion jacket was a little over the top.

I learned the mixing of '80s sounds and fonts and '10s cars and places was a strange combination.

I learned that if you get blood on your favorite scorpion jacket, you don't clean it, you just keep wearing it. No one in LA will care.

I learned that when Ryan Gosling slowly disappeared behind a door, it made me think of Jon Luvitz, and that made me laugh.

I learned that breaking into you employers office to steal a mask you used in a movie for a stunt so you can kill a guy in the ocean seems like a lot of work that wasn't needed.

I learned that a 300 with a Hemi will keep up just fine with a Boss Mustang.

I learned that if you give the next door kid a bullet and tell him to hold onto it, Ryan Gosling will hold onto it for him.

I learned after hammering the man's hand that gave the kid the bullet he will then contemplate hammering the bullet through the man's forehead.

I learned that strippers out in California must have really "seen it all" because as they watch their boss get his hand and face hammered they will just sit there like it is another day in the office.

I learned that if you just pull into a parking garage near the Staples Center as a game is letting out, you can just walk past cops looking for you.

I learned that some women are surprisingly understanding when you literally stomp a man's head off that was going to kill her. Probably because you just made out with her.

I learned it is probably a bad idea to do additional business with they guy that broke your hip the last time you did business with him.

I learned that a tooth pick is vital to the cool vintage look.

I learned that you get five minutes, anything happened before or after that, not his problem.

I learned that if you want to impress you neighbor and her kid, take them for a ride down the storm water runoff in LA, then play in the pond at the end.

I learned that if you recognise Ryan Gosling from a previous job and ask him to be your wheel man again you should shut your mouth or he will kick your teeth down your throat and shut if for you.

I learned that the interest fee charged by some guys for protection in jail can get out of hand very quickly.

And lastly I learned that Ron Pearlman couldn't find pussy in a whorehouse.

Next up, things I learned in the movie "50/50"

A text exchange with my friend Jesse

2011-10-24T14:32:00.000-05:00

Jesse: Check ur fucking phone!!! We have a ver y important question for u

Me: fuck. sorry it was downstairs... What's up?
Me: Bob Costas pees sitting down?

Jesse: Who punched me in the face? We don't remember

Me: Hahahahahahahahahaha it was the fake kick to the balls that made you drop your hands. From............
Me: Roland spenser

Jesse: Yes!!
Jesse: debate solved
Jesse: We couln't remember
Jesse: That was anit climactic. We thought it was someone else

Me: Sorry. I may have it wrong..... I think mike tyson punched you

Jesse: I like that story better; it makes me more awesome

Me: What name did you want? Slammer? Ho? Davey crocket? Shelf?

Jesse: Oooooooooo hitler. I took a punch from hitler ...and won

Me: Hahaha or Kim jung Il when he was ronery

Jesse: Soooo ronrey....

FINI

Coming up soon, what I learned from "Drive" and "50/50", and heck anything else that I find amuses myself I guess.

Song of the day:

Movie tonight! "Drive"

2011-10-06T14:44:00.002-05:00

Hitting the "OC" that is Old Chicago to those of you not in the know, at Merle Hay Mall after work. Then heading to "Drive" at the Merle Hay Theater around 7ish. There are conflicting internets informations on when the start is 7:00 or 7:15. so it is sometime around there. If you are coming give a holler and we will look for you.

here is a trailer, I was going to post the long one but the first comment was "Glad I didn't see this before the movie, it gives too much away", so here is a short one (that's what she said)

Seems appropriate enough song of the day "Drive" from Incubus

Things I Learned from the movie "Moneyball"

2011-09-30T13:43:00.001-05:00

Mike, Keith and I went to "Moneyball" last night, and it was a pretty ok movie. Much better than "Transformers 3", and I actually liked it more than "Warrior".

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED, but as this is a movie based loosely on actual events nothing too earth-shattering is contained.

I learned that people that don't chew tobacco in real life, look very uncomfortable doing in on film.

I learned that Billy Beane let money make his choice for him, and he would never do it again.

I learned that he turned down $12,5000,000.00 to be the GM for the BoSox

I learned that I personally think that Brad Pitt and Robin Wright would make a much better looking kid than Kerris Dorsey.

I learned that in 2002 the A's paid $240,000.00 in salaries per win. That Same year the Yankees paid $1,4000,000.00 per win for the same number of wins.

I learned that Art Howe wasn't on board with the whole "moneyball" theory.

I learned that in order to get Howe to play Hatteberg at first he traded the probable rookie of the the year and all-star Pena.

I learned being forced to fired people is dumb.

I learned when your plan works out and your start winning, people will say there is not reason other than luck.

I learned that Billy Beane was superstitious about attending the games.

I learned that if your daughter seems smarter than you you should tell her that planes crash all the time as she is about to board a plane(1 year after 9/11), as that'll show her.

I learned that if you are superstitious you will get much more fit if you just work out for 3 hours during every game.

I learned that losing isn't fun

I learned that Billy Beane hates losing more than he likes winning.

I learned that silence is the sound of losing.

I learned that 40 games of Pena starting at first will make you flip you desk, litteraly.

I learned that is movie was filmed when Jonah Hill was still fat Jonah Hill.

I learned when you lose the last game of the season nothing else matters.

I learned Billy Beane didn't really care for his ex wife's new husband.

I learned if your kid is an accomplished guitar player she will pick out new guitars on how they look, not how they sound.

I learned that good parenting advise is to stay off the internet, and don't read, or talk to people.

I learned that silence is the sound of losing.

I learned that the A's blew an 11 run lead to win 20 games in a row, but Hatteberg hit a home run to secure the win and the record for 20 wins in a row.

I learned that players don't like paying a dollar for soda in the club house, additionally I learned that you can get three years worth of soda when trading a player to another team.

And Lastly, I learned that when Billy Beane points at you that is when you talk..

Up next Iowa State vs. Texa$ in Ames on Saturday Night, FX game of the week, should be a good one!

Movie Invite for tonight (9-29-2011)

2011-09-29T11:39:00.000-05:00

Tonight we are hitting "Moneyball" at Cobblestone Theaters for the 7PM showing. Will be hitting Joe's Pub prior for fun and games.

Why "Moneyball"? excellent question.

Why not?
When I was growing up the bash brothers were winning pennants so they quickly became "my team"
I am one of the few people left that seem to like baseball
Brad Pitt is a good looking guy....

So if you think you are coming, give a shout

it sometimes seems typical.....

2011-09-28T14:21:00.001-05:00

So the following photos are just what I would call typical.

The first would be a typical day where I park my car. you can ask anyone I work with, that is what the lot looks like where I park nothing funny about it, sometimes there may be 4 or 5 more cars in the near shot of the photo.

The second is a photo on the note left from the "facilities manager." I mean really someone spent time and energy and resources to do this. Maybe they are expecting a big hiring rush that I don't know about.

The third photo is how the facilities' leaky roof spots are dealt with (full disclosure they did just have people up there this summer putting a new roof on this bad boy, it seems they missed a few spots, luckily it hasn't really seemed to rain much lately). Point is what I see as wasted time, energy and resources. I admit I am a waste of space in more way than one, just never been called out on it I guess.

The last is what is on my windshield last night after bowling at the alley, I do have friends that listen and are indeed as funny as they are inclined to think they are. No one will fess up to it yet, maybe it is better that way....

Typical parking day at work

the note

ceiling next to cube farm, I wish we had these in college to pound beer from, like a boss of course

Note left from friends after bowling at the alley

song of the day, I took a long tube trip last night just clicking on video after video, ended up here and it made me happy. Local boy done good I say:

This one might have a few bad words in it, so may not be OK for work, but it doesn't make it any less cool! ;-)

Things I learned from the movie "Warrior"

2011-09-27T15:22:00.000-05:00

The movie last week was "Warrior" I would describe it as a trying to do better, while following in the footsteps, while hating your father, while being down on your luck kind of movie.

Mike, Angie and I did it up right that night, got there a little early even, which was a nice change from the usual for this rag-tag group of heathens. So with peanut butter M&Ms in hand here is what I learned form the movie "Warrior"

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I learned that Paddy Conlon doesn't have a woman around not because he doesn't like them, more because they can't take a punch like they used to.

I learned that I didn't recognize Tom Hardy with hair after seeing him in "Bronson" (which I recommend as a mind eff along the lines of "A clockwork orange".

I learned that Tom Hardy must lift a few weights in real life.

I learned that Kurt Angle can play a really convincing Russian bad ass..

I learned that the youtube video of Mad Dog getting beat up wasn't a fluke.

I learned that if you did on the street what happened to the Mad Dog in the ring, you'd go to jail.

I learned that Tommy liked his dad better when his dad drank.

I learned that Tommy found out he was wrong.

I learned that Paddy wanted Ahab to turn his boat around.

I learned that Brendan used to be one of those animals.

I learned that there is a difference to fighting in a parking lot next to a strip club and fighting in a strip club.

I learned that the superintendent of schools might not agree with that.

I learned that if you somehow go AWOL from a battle zone and they find you much later using a different name they will let you finish your fighting tournament before taking you into custody

I learned that not only will they wait until after the tourney, but after the fight they will let you walk back to the locker rooms and all of the MPs will be nowhere to be seen.

I learned that Tommy took a lot of pills. You could tell how many bottle he was carrying just by the sound.

I learned that that Tommy must have the strength of 100 men, as he tore the door of a sinking tank.

I learned that you have to have a training montage, even rock had a montage.

I learned that it is sometimes funny seeing people play themselves in movies.

I learned that Tapout seems to be doing fine without Mask.

I learned that 2 unknown people will just be let into a 16 man tourney to find the best fighter in the world.

I learned that the bank can't help you if the city re-values your house at a lower price.

I learned that the banker doesn't know how lucky he is scoffing at a high school physics teacher's decision to spend the extra money from his refinancing of his home to pay for a life saving procedure on his daughter. As the teacher will turn out to be the baddest man on the planet and could have easily chocked the banker to death.

Lastly, I learned that at the time I thought this movie was great, but as the days have passed by I now think this movie was fine. A little silly, a lot formulaic, and kind of boring. I give it a B-, also it is better than "Transformers 3"

Next movie I am guessing will be "Moneyball" because hey, I love the A's, and it looks to be pretty good.

Song of the day, let's take it to a darker place this time:

hmmmm embedding disabled on my first choice: http://youtu.be/v_09wFxoaeQ
so we will go like this for number 2! Best Metal song ever IMO:

Things I learned from the movie "Apollo 18"

2011-09-16T11:26:00.000-05:00

Well, the Merle Hay Cinema had "Apollo 18" on the big screen, so it was decided that was the movie for the night. I was going to be joined by Keith, Mike and Angie for this awesome movie experience. I beat the other three to the movie theater, bought my ticket and was the first one in.

I know it is hard to see, but it is kind of a creepy place when you are the only one in there.

I got the reaction I was looking for when I hear Mike laughing all the way from the back as I had chosen to sit in the front row right in the middle. I am not sure why as children we ever thought that was a cool place to be, maybe because to the bigness of it all, maybe because kids are dumb, I guess I will never know. After moving to the perfect seats both visually and sound wise we settled in for the movie. see below for the trailer that grabbed my attention the most.

With that here are the things I learned from the movie Apollo 18:

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I learned that in preivious moon mission 840 pounds of rocks were brought back to earth.

I learned that most of those rocks were given away as gifts to foreign leaders or stolen

I learned that Apollo 17 was the last official trip to the moon.

I learned that Russian moon landers look and work pretty much like the American ones

I learned that their suits were not rated to go into the cold of the craters.

I learned that Russian cosmonauts did not have tread on their boots

I learned that Russia can just patch you over to the American DoD in real time.

I learned that flashlights are over rated, using your flash from your camera is a much better way to search in the dark

I learned that even in space NASA will require you to shave.

I learned that putting your balls in a glass of milk can make the jalapeno pain go away

I learned that the government's need to know basis goes away when they know you are going to die, once they know that they will tell you everything, even though the Russians are still listening.

I learned that they government will then let you know that they will let your family know you died as a hero.

I learned that if you make a choice between peas and carrots, you will be given the opposite of what you ask for.

I learned that his wife left him because he snores

I learned that he doesn't snore

I learned that the government will give you a 60 second count down if you are disobeying a direct order to leave your infected friend.

I learned that moon aliens that look like spiders will make me sing "ROOOOOCK LOBSTER" every time I see one.

I learned that while "Ice Pirates" had space herpes, it looks like the moon has rock crabs.

I learned that moon aliens hate flags, and rovers for that matter.

I learned that if these astronauts hadn't died on a mission that never existed "Top Gun" may have had some different players

I learned that if the moon rocks are actually spider aliens, the 840 pounds brought back to earth might be a bad thing.
I learned that if you ever have trouble sleeping, buy this movie on DVD, pop it in the player and nighty night, it is the land of Nod for you.
Lastly I learned that this movie was better than Transformers 3

So I am sure there are tons more, but this move was pretty "Meh" like Blair Witch meets Jason X meets Transformers. I give it a C-.

Saw a few trailers the only one that really stuck out to me was "In Time" starring JT:

Song of the Day, still sad I turned down the guy's offer at the record store to go to Omaha and see them. I mean why would a 16 year old want to go with strangers to a concert....ugh:

Here is some thing that was just suggested on the side from youtube, and I really liked it. the style gangster country, the genre? High.the result? FANTASTIC!

Movie tonight

2011-09-15T14:05:00.000-05:00

Invitation to Apollo 18 at the Merle Hay Theater tonight at 7:00PM

We will be hitting up the Old Chicago at Merle Hay prior for dinner and drinks.So join me, Mike and Angie for dinner and a flick if you like!

Oh, and I will blog a little about love found and love lost and a 3 point triple overtime win by Iowa State over Iowa in the not so distant future. It was a good good time, had by most....
here is a photo just after the game:

Back!

2011-09-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

According to the Google doodle is is Freddy Mercury's birthday, and it is one of my favorite doodles ever, with one of my favorite queen songs.

but this is my favorite use of that same song in Shawn of the Dead. Be warned there is bad language in it...

Upcoming Mexico! I-State! B-days! New Friends!

DON'T STOP ME NOW!

ATTENTION!

2011-08-19T13:21:00.002-05:00

thanks i love attention. this memo is to the two regular readers here. this blog will be temporarily on vacation in mexico though the end of august. while you two might be sad over this there should be some amazing new stories of espionage and things. maybe even stuff if things go right. see you in a few weeks

Movie Invite for 8-11(this is tonight Thursday ;)

2011-08-11T14:12:00.004-05:00

Joe's Pub in Johnston after work for beers and pizza!

Going to "Cowboys and Aliens" at the Cobblestone at 7PM.

Holler if you think you are coming.

Song/video of the day:

Let me Mayor drink!

2011-08-10T13:18:00.004-05:00

enough said.

A while back on cyclone fanatic a great post started about people getting off of the Mayor's back at I-State and letting him coach, only they messed up the title, and a little bit of a movement on cyclone fanatic started from the "Let me Mayor Coach!" thread. Including spin-off threads, and artwork, and a better general appreciation for Fred Hoiberg. You can find the chain here: Cyclone fanatic thread.

So a while ago we were at Mi Mexico in Des Moines and our bill came in the following check holder, which made me think: Let me Mayor drink!

Things I like

2011-08-02T12:54:00.004-05:00

You know how some people think there cat is evil or looks like it wants to kill them?
Well the other day Jamie Lou and the hounds were lounging on the couch and I was pretty sure the couch was evil and wanted to kill everyone in the room..... BEHOLD THE COUCH DEMON! The hell beast looks like it wants to munch on Moe's tail and feet....

Things I like

2011-08-01T15:22:00.002-05:00

Out cruising in the Camaro the other day, which is always a blast, listening to the radio. and what happened to come on the old XM satellite radio?

A few things I love The Lithium XM station... it is like a live stream into my computer and what I loved in college. Another is the band Cracker. I always find their music most enjoyable. This song was a hidden track on their album Kerosene Hat. Which I also love! Enjoy:

Things I learned form the movie "Horrible Bosses"

2011-07-28T08:10:00.005-05:00

This movie was entertaining, nothing real new or over the top that makes it a must see. But I had a few good laughs. I'd give it a B- for a grade and say that it is a "must see" compared to "Transformers 3". Not for children, drugs and language violence and a little sex.... So with that here are the things I learned watching "Horrible Bosses"

I learned that when murder is your central theme, the reasons presented feel pretty flimsy when they don't center around revenge and or retribution.

I learned that Jennifer Aniston is pretty smoking hot, I think even more so now than before.

I learned that Jennifer Aniston eating a popsicle, banana, and finally a hot dog was pretty sexy.

I also learned that her eating them in that order is weird, as it isn't a proper meal.

I learned that if you drag race in a Prius you probably won't win a lot.

I learned that as much as I love Charlie Day, I don't think he acts, I think he just says lines.

I learned that Kevin Spacey pretty much crushes anything he ever does, and it probably isn't easy to shoot a scene with him if he is the only other one in the shot.

I learned that if you are going to use the dust buster to suck up cocaine, you should empty the dust filter first.

I learned that Colin Farrell can play some pretty funny characters.

I learned that Colin Farrel playing a coke head sex addict loser seemed to come pretty natural to him.

I learned that Ron White playing a cop in a movie made me think "Why is Ron White play a cop in a movie?"

I learned that street name of Mother Fucker Jones, has different meaning than Mother Fuck Over Jones to people not from the neighborhood.

I learned that Danny DeVitto was in Hitchcock's 'Strangers on a Train'.

I learned that was actually 'Throw Mamma from the Train' with Danny DeVitto.

I learned that if you pee on a children's playground at midnight you will end up on the sex offender registry.

I learned that you will claim is is entrapment to have a playground next to a bar.

I learned that if you bootleg 'Snow falling on Cedars' you will get 10 years in prison.

I learned that Americans can't pronounce Gregory's real name.

I am sure there were more, but that is what the comment section is for....
Next "things I learned" installment will be on Harry Potter 7.2

Movie Invite for 7-27(that is Wednesday)

2011-07-26T14:40:00.004-05:00

I'll have the things I learned from Horrible bosses later this week...

Movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 (Electric Boogaloo):
Movie Starts at 7:00 PM I am going to Joe's Pub in Johnston before (after work getting there after 4) for beers and pizza.
Who: You
What: HP 7.2
When: Wednesday July 27 - 7:00 PM
Where: Merle Hay Mall Cinema
3800 Merle Hay Road, Des Moines IA 50310 | (515) 252-0804
Why: Because. Mike will be there, that is cool. And this movie will be way better than Transformers 1, 2, and 3 combined(not that says too much the Transporter 1, 2, and 3 combined are better than Transformers 1, 2, and 3 combined).

Another fun new map!

and the Video of the Day! Something about this that I really like....

Movie Review: "Transformers 3" and Invite to "Horrible Bosses"

2011-07-20T12:29:00.005-05:00

Kind of thought I would kill two birds with one stone here and write a review of Last weeks movie Transformers 3, and extend and invite to This weeks movie Horrible Bosses

Movie review Transformers 3:
My review is as follows: Do NOT see this movie, it is terrible. I hate myself more today than I did the day before because I saw it. You have been warned. If you have already been to this movie, I am thinking of starting a support group for recovery.

Movie Invite Horrible Bosses:
Movie Starts at 7:10 PM I am planning on going to Joe's Pub in Johnston before (after work getting there a little before 5) for beers and pizza.
Who: You
What: Horrible Bosses
When: Thursday July 21 - 7:10 PM
Where: Carmike Cobblestone 9
8501 Hickman Road, Des Moines IA 50322
Why: Because. Mike will be there, that is cool. And this movie will be way better than Transformers.

This is me fancying it up, with maps and labels! Got to love technology!

Video of the day, my back up chick Ke$ha and Blow: Just like Yesterday's vid, stick with it, it gets pretty good!

Things I like

2011-07-19T12:43:00.005-05:00

I like signs that can only use pictures to get their point across, I like them even better when they don't make any sense to me. This one is from the Hy-Vee gas station on Fleur on the "SOUTH SIDE" (heck it could be at all of them)!

Now I could buy that a person in a gas powered wheelchair may, and I repeat MAY need help filling up their chair. I would think that if they have the ability to create a gas powered wheelchair, they would have the ability to fill it up on their own. I guess that is neither here nor there with my real issue with the assistance button.

My real problem with the gas station is their assertion that a baby could have a gas powered stroller! That is just dumb. First, the baby wouldn't even be able to get credit to have a gas card to pay with, let alone have a concept of money and being able to get into the wallet for the right bills. Second, who would drive? The baby? That is just stupid. Lastly, I am sure the baby would need some kind of license to drive a gas powered stroller, and that isn't happening until at least 16, 14 if the baby's parent wanted to ride along I guess.

Speaking of stupid, Rebecca Black. Now I know she never asked for any of the fame she got, but today's video is simply fantastic, stick it out through the credits, you will laugh:

OK 11 months off may be enough....

2011-07-18T13:50:00.009-05:00

OK it is July in Iowa and it is HOT. Real Hot, they say it feels like a hundred and something out there, thank goodness we have some pools at out disposal here in Central Iowa. One we get to float in the other we are doing construction at ;-) Spent Saturday at Uncle Joe's working on the pool house, at his place there won't be any excuse as to why you are peeing in his pool with a bathroom that is going to be so close now. Zac and Joe got the Roof up and papered, while Ted and DeDe and I started getting the reclaimed barn boards up on the front side. It should look quite nice once it is all done.At T&D's on Sunday it was an afternoon float that made the 106 degree temperature much more manageable. In fact, in the water it was quite a nice day! While this pic is from Saturday it gets the point across, we have 2 pools to pick from bitches!

Song of the day: System of a Down "Lonely Day"

You are all invited

2010-08-10T15:11:00.003-05:00

Wednesday August 11, 2010 at 7:45 we are going to Winnebago Man
VARSITY THEATRE
25th & University
Des Moines
Across from Drake University

Winnebago Man is a 2010 American documentary feature film directed by Ben Steinbauer that follows the Internet phenomenon created by a series of twenty-year-old outtakes from a Winnebago sales video featuring profane outbursts from the salesperson, Jack Rebney. Originally intended as an inside joke, the video spread across the globe first on VHS tape then via YouTube and other online video sites, earning the salesman the title of "The Angriest Man in the World". The documentary explores the story of the clip’s origin and how, two decades later, it affects the man who never even knew it existed.

This movie is Not Rated, however contains FOUL language! THIS INCLUDES THE TRAILER BELOW! Ye HATH BEEN WARNED so turn it down if at work!

NineEightTen

2010-08-09T12:49:00.003-05:00

This is a story that has been told before and will be told again: Things start anew tomorrow….

Lots of things have happened since my last posting…..

More lay off at work
Our 11th anniversary
Got the Ford Falcon Up and running
The Falcon got a little smashed in the rear
Tore my calf (strained)
Went to Mexico for a few weeks
Got a pretty good tan
Won a Badminton tournament
Lost a 3-man best ball golfing tournament
Saw a few Movies
Found a great new place to eat
Met some new friends

So I’ll let you all pick, which one do you want to hear more about first?

Now I know this is the Clean Version, but it make embedding simpler for me. At least there are a few Artists still making cool things out there

Things I like

2010-06-02T10:31:00.004-05:00

Actually this one is things I really don't like. I don't like when things are redundant or say the same thing twice. The point really doesn't need to be made twice it could have just been made once. So my question is, do you need a PIN Number to make this work? Also, how bad of a person are you if your first thought when seeing this sign isn't about getting money from a machine? I am just saying

Also included in my list of hate along with PIN Number and ATM Machine is getting a french dip with Au Jus. What are those other classics I am missing?

The Great Tomato Incident (2010)

2010-06-01T08:39:00.009-05:00

Sorry for the break, I have been....busy. I know that isn't an excuse, but I just haven't been into it. In the Middle of April we had a meeting at work, about how things aren't easy but they were going OK (maybe that isn't what was said at all but that is the way I remember it). A few days later at the end of April they shut down our Red Oak operation and laid off/forced retired 200 here at Des Moines. I really didn't feel like doing much of anything blog wise after that. I have been keeping up at run fat cam run if you are interested in following along there feel free. Now that I am done feeling sorry for myself onto the tomatoes....

So Jamie Lou and I have Kerry, Tom, James and Peter to blame for the 2009 Great Tomato Incident. They gave Jamie Lou upside-down tomato hangers for her birthday. and long story short the 2 tomatoes we got after everything was all said and down ran us about $50.00 each. A lot of cash for 2 bad tomatoes. This year we decided to grow the operation you see. While again putting up 2 upside-down tomatoes (which we will tend to much more closely this year) Jamie Lou wanted and herb garden. So never one to ease into anything this weekend we made a 12 foot x 12 foot herb garden for her.

The tomato crucifix from last year still stands and seems strong still (I must still say, Thad stay away from it. No fires.). Since grass doesn't really seem to grow under teh tomatoes it seems the logical place for the herb garden.

First we framed it in with green treat 2x6's. This allowed us to level the ground there at least a little. Once we got the wood in the ground and secured we took all the sod off that did exist and tried to put it else where in the yard. I am sure it won't make it, but at least we tried. Once the sod was off we tilled the soil about 4 inches down. Once tilled we tried to level it out a little better than it was.

Next step was to amend in some good top soil. 500 pounds of good black dirt was dumped in and again moved around. But not to be out done, we then brought in another 500 pounds of fertilized planting soil to be worked into the mix too. If you look below you can really see the difference in the two (and compared to above, the 3) soil types.

Below is the final results of plants being in the ground. There are peppers, sage, basil, lavender, thyme, marigolds and more I think. I think left will be a few more "hot" peppers, maybe 1 Thai pepper and 1 habanero. The stones were added to give a little bit of a place to walk and the soaker hose hopefully will aid in keeping it all wet enough.

Out next debate is on how to top dress it. Jamie Lou wants newspaper and mulch. I would maybe say just mulch, but am really just fine with the way it is. We shall see... Getting done around 6PM last night we were at the stopping point (physically more than anything) and called it good. So here is to hoping 2010 tomatoes are MUCH better than the 2009.

I DID IT!

2010-04-27T16:48:00.004-05:00

Went to the danger zone!

Lived life to the fullest

Took the needle past E!

Put in More that 17 Gallons on one fill up!

Then I had to know, how far I had gone... That is when I learned..... It isn't a 17 Gallon tank, the Lincoln has a 19 gallon tank. I felt crushed. Then I played Cribbage on my Palm Pre and at one point had 69 Points, so that made me feel better.

Things I learned from the movie Kick Ass

2010-04-23T15:33:00.005-05:00

Went to Kick Ass with Mike, Jessica and Keith and I learn a lot from it. So with that here are some of the things I learned from the movie Kick Ass:

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I learned he was good at getting his ass kicked. So instead of being called Kick Ass, he should have gone by Ass Kick *snort snort*

I learned a good father shoots his daughter with low velocity rounds.

I leaned his name is Dave Lizewski.

I learned that News stations will go to live Internet feeds, even if they are of live tortures then of live executions.

I learned her name is Mindy Macready.

I learned I was finally proven right that - "that which doesn't kill you will make you stronger" is true unless you are set on fire. If you are indeed set on fire, that will probably just kill you.

I learned that "Wait till they get a load of me" sound way cooler from Jack as the Joker then when it comes out of McLovin's mouth.

I learned that if you want to reach Big Daddy and Hit Girl you can contact the mayor and he shines a light into the sky.

I learned that the light that shines in the sky is in the shape of a cock.

I also learned you can just make your web site say you are on vacation and they will find you instead.

I learned that when you get a bazooka no one questions you on it.

I learned that Spiderman themed kids birthday parties are fine, but a Kick Ass themed one? come on.... what are parents thinking?

I learned that if the hot girl in school thinks you are gay then you get to have a sleep overs with her and wear a banana hammock and rub self tanner on her.

I also learned when you show up and tell her you are a super hero and not gay you will get hairspray in the eyes and a tennis racket to the face.

I then learned she will have sex with you. Lots of it.

I learned that simply dressing up in a super suit and jumping off a build won't help you any. Especially if you are an Armenian with mental problems. But because you are in a super suit, the public will applaud your suicide.

I learn the Red Mist had WAAAYYY cooler wheels than Kick Ass.

I learned that $300,000.00 will get you a jet pack. If you want Gatling guns mounted on it you are on you own for that.

I learned that the wood drying microwave is bad for ones health if you are put in it with it turned on.

I learned Dave Lizewski has 34 online friends, Kick Ass has 16,000 and counting.

I learned that being able to feel no physical pain will allow you to take enough of a beating to give a better one out.

I learned if Hit Girl wasn't there Kick Ass would be dead, consequently if Kick Ass hadn't been there Big Daddy would still be alive.

I learned that being shot for real hurts a lot more.

I learned that trained killers will let a little school girl in the door.

I also learned that same school girl will use the technique of one to the chest and one to the dome to confirm her kills.

I learned that $3,000,000.00 in a suitcase is planning for the future.

I learned that Frank D'Amico owes her a childhood.

I learned that I like Craig Ferguson a little more each day.

I learned that if you tell the king pin that a man dressed like Batman ("NO I NEVER SAID HE LOOKED LIKE BATMAN") beat you up and took the coke, he won't believe you.

I learned that taking a teddy bear from a burning build won't seem strange at all if you just brush the question of it off.

I learned that other super heroes will search you out to be your side kick. Don't be alarmed by this, it probably won't be a trap.

I learned that just because you are narrating it doesn't mean you are still alive, go watch American Beauty or something...

and lastly I learned that in America stick is pronounce BASEBALL BAT!

Hy-Vee Fail and a Movie Invite

2010-04-22T10:38:00.005-05:00

You are cordially invited to Champps tonight around 7PM for drinks and food and then we (Gubby and Me) are going to the 8:30 showing of KICKASS at the Jordan Creek Theaters. As always, these group dates will be dutch treat.

BE there or be Ell Seven!

and now for the fail. How little do you have to care Hy-Vee Employee that this is what you put out? I mean, really have a little pride and bring it to management's attention.

The Good, the Bad, the Terrible

2010-04-21T10:21:00.004-05:00

I went for another shirt woot random shirt drop. One of these times I think I am going to have to stop. Be warned right now, if you have a birthday or an anniversary or a bah mitzvah or a day that you just wake up..... you may be getting a bad shirt coming your way.

Here was the text from the order screen, they had me at "The Thing":

A Blind Date With Apparel

Mrs. Gump was a Liar
Because here’s the thing: With most boxed chocolate samplers, you do, in fact, know what you’re going to get.
(No, actually, here’s the Thing: “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME!” But seriously, folks.)
Maybe Mother Gump just couldn’t figure out how to read the key on the bottom of the box, or the list of ingredients, or the bold print on the front that said “Fancy Chocolate-Covered Crickets.” Hey, it happens. Illiteracy is no capital crime. It’s a shame for her, naturally, but she wasn’t hurting anybody but herself. Well, herself and maybe her Valentine on any given year.
But you can’t go spouting folk wisdom based on bad facts. Your result may still be folksy, but the “wisdom” part is fatally compromised. It’s like telling people “there’s no ‘I’ in ‘cooperation,’” or “you can’t make any kind of purse from a sow’s ear.” Because you can, and our sister’s got a cute little tanned pigskin clutch to prove it. It goes with almost any outfit!
Which is good for her, because she buys all her shirts in random batches from shirt.woot, sight unseen.
So she nevuh knows whut sh’gon’ gay-yut.
Wear this shirt: in the spirit of taking life as it comes. You’re like a downy feather, riding the zephyrs of ever-changing fortune, going wherever fate leads you, and wearing whatever comes in the mail!
Don’t wear this shirt: if it’s important to you what kind of impression you make.
This shirt tells the world: “You’d have to be an idiot to pay full price! And I’m no idiot! I just look like one because of this stupid shirt. But what a deal!”
We call this color: Any Color Will Do

Who could resist that fun little write up? If you say "I could resist it." The the terrorists have already won.

Well now for the shirts.

First the Good:

from Jan 18th Robots....

A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

You have to love Asimov's 3 laws. And this shirt does a great job or showing how they will all end up with your "helpful" robot.

Wear this shirt: All the time. Seriously. This shirt is amazing. We’ve got one on right now.
Don’t wear this shirt: In front of your Roomba. You don’t want that guy getting ideas.
This shirt tells the world: Me and Elijah Baley are tight like that.
We call this color: Asphaltimov

The Bad:

The Notorious B.I.R.D. There is actually kind of a funny rap at that link for this shirt. It is OK, I just don't really care for baby blue that much, or Biggie Smalls for that matter.

Wear this shirt: to intimidate the cat. You had your day, kitty, and you might be a legend, but the sparrows are under new management, if you follow me. Be smart, kitty.

Don't wear this shirt: on the Bloods’ turf. You will get SO busted by multiple caps in your singular ass for at least two different reasons.

This shirt tells the world: “Don’t you think that little bird to the side should have been a puffin daddy?” We call this color: BABY Blue? Damn, she looked eighteen at the club! My bad, just take a couple mill on your way out. I keep a petty cash box by the Hummer for just this reason

And last, The Terrible:

Everyone knows about the bird.... Oh No....

This shirt is just worthless and yellow, and the fact it was the second bird shirt, I have the feeling of "RANDOM?!?! my ass!"

Wear this shirt: while tweeting from art class.
Don’t wear this shirt: on spaghetti night, unless you’re a much neater eater than we.
This shirt tells the world: “Papa ooh ma-mow-mow, papa ooh mow ma-mow,” repeatedly
We call this color: Lemon Yellow Bird

Overall I give this random woot shirt colect 4 "Mehs" out of 5. The only saving grace was the robot shirt which illicited 1 Chris Hansen "AAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" from me.

Completely Awesome

2010-04-15T11:22:00.009-05:00

Completely Awesome! That was the name of my bowling team this year. Another team turned in their team name before us, it was Borderline Awesome. So in a show of oneupsmanship I trumped their team name with a better one. Tuesday was the last night of bowling, position night. And it just so happened that Completely Awesome was bowling off against Borderline Awesome. Whilst I would like to write the fairytale ending that Completely beat "Bored"erline and we won the title.... it just didn't happen. We were in the running for something great down the stretch, but going 1 and 7 the last two weeks pretty much ended any hopes for awards....

Meet the team:

Bowling in the first position for us all year was Brad. He has a blue ball bag. He likes getting hot (on the lanes)and bowling huge games and long walks in the park. He likes beer and pizza and having the highest average on the team. While Brad's feet may look like like they have never seen the sun is, it a little bit of camera magic, those are actually his white socks. Not actually his feet! Amazing I know. Also, don't think his pants are too short either, the weather in Iowa got warm enough to wear shorts... Brad is one crazy cat. The blue ball bag is his for reals, the sweet looking viking ball sack is mine, and no you can't touch it and yes there is 1 blue ball in there.

Second up all year was Kevin. He throws a straight ball that sometimes does "one of these." When he isn't being forced to stay at work and miss bowling he likes to ruin other team's evenings by going crazy high over his average. He likes diet pop and pizza and he too like long walks in the park. Again some camera magic is at work here, Kevin is not actually a black shadow figure like you would have the pleasure seeing on Ghost Hunters (man those guys are great *he says sarcastically ) No, that isn't the case at all, Kev is actually facing the other way, that is why his head seems all black, it is his hair. Now his body appears black from his clothes. How we made him to look like he has no arms was difficult but we got it. We had him hold a bowling ball. Now you know almost all my photographing secrets.

Third spot was filled by Monica. She like counting money and long finger nails. She also like being the best female bowling in the league. She throws a hook and has very oily balls when she first gets to the lanes each Tuesday. She like fruity Seagrams wine coolers and long walks in the park. A little trick we used here in this photo was to make you think it was Jersey Shore's Snookie, but that's where we got you, it is Monica in an orange shirt, not Snookie in orange skin. Maybe our best photo gag yet, if I do say so myself. Monica is famous for having not 1, but 2 bowling leaves named for her at our bowling table. the 1 - 2 - 10 leave is the "Monica", where as the 1 - 2 - 4 - 10 is forever known as the "Mills". What we have found out over the years is if you don't get a lot of lift and slowly have you ball hit solidly into the 3 pin instead of the pocket, there is a good chance for one of these leaves. And for all the times I have seen it left by Monica I have 1 text message claiming she picked up the Mills and I was there to the the Monica picked up in person once. Come bowling with us and there are a few things for certain, we will tell you to "bowl better", and if you consistently produce a bad leave, we will name it after you. That is how we roll! (get it, bowling joke)

Fourth was me, El Guapo, that means "the one who chokes at bowling" in Mexican I think. I am 94% sure that is what is means.. 80%......44% sure it means that. I like leaving 10 pins for open frames. I like Beer and pizza. I like throwing monster hooks. Strangely enough I do not like long walks in the park, I prefer them on the beach. I have found it hard to take photos of myself with the Palm Pre. Thankfully I have found it almost Therapeutic to paint self portraits though. This one is titled "1 Win 7 Loses to Close out the Season - a Self Portrait" Note the sad eyes and face. I really thought we had a chance this year, and that is my fault for things good things are coming. See if you have no expectations then mediocre things are a pleasant surprise. Kind of like being married to me. I set your hopes so low that average everyday things seem so wonderful.....

The end of early bowling party has been set up for the 30th of April. A good time had by most unless Chuck blows up a char and heaves it off a balcony again. but other than that it will be fantastic.

For those of you that were there, here is Jim, Troy and Tracie singing you a tune to remember them by.

From My Cold Dead Hand!

2010-04-12T14:05:00.003-05:00

This was a weekend full of Americana! Fast cars, fighting, too much food, too much booze, family and firearms!

Finally was really able to turn the Camaro loose (need a good nickname for it pumpkin... orangie.... inferno.... I've got nothing) Probably put too many miles on it, but it is a treat to drive. Jim and Ginger were up from KC Mo, and he had his Hemi-C up too. While we didn't drag race per-say, we did get to open them up a little out in the back country roads of altoona/mitchelville. While I think you can actually see the gas needle go down as you push the pedal to the floor, that isn't a concern while it actually happens. Something about 426+ HP (not sure how much to the rear wheels) and a throaty exhaust that is FANTASTIC! Now part of me still wants to get an upgraded exhaust, new cams, and a supercharger. But another part of me says "no" that part of me is the Jamie Lou part.

Made it to Irina's on Friday night with the in-laws and Jamie Lou. Some hits, some misses but a good time was had by all I do believe. Nice bottle of wine, some tasty Ukrainian beers..... Saturday was smoked pork chops on the grill from Gateway, again some pretty good wine with dinner, went nice with the chops. Sunday night was lamb chops at Zac and Dani's. Also quite good, a nice red first and then a sutter home white zin to follow. The white zin I think you could drink 2 bottles and not feel a thing from it, maybe mixed with some fruit and 7-up or squirt you have a delicious spritzer......

Saturday Jim and I headed to the twisted parrot to watch the UFC. While all the good spots were marked "reserved" and we had some pretty bad seats I think we both had a pretty good time. The 2 championship fights were so disappointing I am not even sure I am going to blog on any of the fights. I was going to give a fight by fight recap, but now I don't feel like it. There was one FANTASTIC anaconda choke FTW applied in the last 10 seconds of a round. That was the highlight of the night (afternoon) for me.

Jim really wanted to make it out to Altoona to see some of the Vignovich's cars (including the new '52 Plymouth convertible) so a call was made to invite ourselves out. As always "Come on out" was the answer. So we made the trip to the East after the fights. Jamie Lou and Ginger came out a bit later... Once there Joe mentioned that he picked up a new Judge(a gat that shoots .410 000 buck shot). Well that really peaked Jim's interest, a minute later we were busting caps. After the judge was unleashed, Rene asked "Well can I shoot my new one? Ca I shoot the .38?!?!" HAHA I ask you, what is more American than muscle cars and guns? Rene, go on with your bad self!

Movie Review - Hot Tub Time Machine

2010-04-08T15:55:00.005-05:00

After "Clash of the Titans" anything would have to be better, at least that is what I told myself. So it was just Me and Gubby off to the movies last night and it was "Hot Tube Time Machine", I can't lie... I was looking forward to this one. It didn't matter to me that Cas and Tad Chilly didn't want to come, it didn't matter that Floyd couldn't make it, it didn't matter if Cas asked the magic 8-ball on my palm pre if "Cam will hate the move tonight" and it said "it is decidedly so" it didn't matter that 3 follow up questions to the 8-ball all confirmed I was going to hate the movie, I wanted to see it!

The night started off good, $1.00 bottles of beer at Joe's Pub in Johnston. Can't go wrong with that! And they had pizza too, so beer and pizza for dinner, hanging with Tad Chilly and C-razy good good good.

Then I had a sign that the movie was going to be just what the doctor ordered (I wonder who came up with that as a phrase). Walking to the theater I saw this in a car window. A CAMel, it doesn't get much better than that I think.

We saw a couple of previews... Kick Ass which I am geeked for.... The Loser also excited to see and I saw the first full length Nightmare on Elm Street trailer in the theater... Let's just say that Freddy isn’t looking to be into campy fun in this one. The trailer closed with him yelling "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING? I HAVEN’T EVEN CUT YOU YET!" HaHa oh Freddy, you so funny.

If you are going to the movie and haven't yet hear me now!

YAAAAARRRRRR THERE BE SPOILERS DOWN BELOW, SO PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Things I learned from the movie "Hot Tub Time Machine"

I learned that if you break the third wall and stare into the camera after saying "Maybe it is a hot tub time machine" a la Mr Roper from Three Company it is not only funny, but lets the watchers know your aren't taking yourself too seriously.

I learned that in real life if you lean over to your buddy and ask if you just saw Chevy Chase for a split second in the hot tub painted up like Beetle Juice and one minute later Chevy Chase is on the screen, you just may have indeed seen him for a split second only a minute ago.

I learned that if you barf on a squirrel after time traveling it may come back to haunt you with that squirrel getting revenge and ruining "The Drive" for Denver, thus losing you thousands of dollars and forcing you to perform and oral trick on your male friend. Remember folks, a bet is a bet.

I learned that she was his WHITE BUFFALO, White Buffalo, white buffalo, w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o

I learned that if you got stabbed in the eye in the past, even if you change how things went you still get stabbed in the eye.

I learned that if your name is Lou and you decided to stay behind to relieve that past with all you know of the future if may proved to be financially beneficial. Examples include you starting the web giant Lougle and fronting the band Motley Lou.

I learned this movie was 500 times more entertaining than Clash of the Titans

I learned that if you went to the mountains to ski in 1986 you traveled like you were Hunter S. Thompson with 'shrooms, weed, cocaine and the like.

I learned that if in the present your wife is cheating on you and you call the 9-year old version of her in the past and graphically describe all the terrible things she had done, it will affect her in a way so as to make her never want to cheat in the first place.

I learned that since in 1986 there wasn't twitter, e-mail, facebook or cell phones having to simply find a girl that you met later "sounds like a lot of work"

I learned that if you write fan fiction for deep space 9 that probably makes you the group expert in time travel.

I learned that if you if your black friend has a tall flat tap and you tell him he looks like Kid and Play, the appropriate response is to say "Kid and Play are two people"

I learned that if in the present Crispin Glover only has one arm but in the past has two, it is not only appropriate but acceptable to be bummed every time he doesn't lose his arm in near accidents.

I learned there are lots of other things that are hard to blog about in the PG-13 way.

I learned w h i t e b u f f a l o, w h i t e b u f f a l o

Maybe...

2010-04-07T15:45:00.004-05:00

The way I am feeling today maybe I'll come up with 100 things I don't like.... I have been feeling on the touchy side and I don't get why I am feeling like..... like I'm "SUPERFLY T.N.T," I'm the "GUNS OF NAVARONE."

maybe just a few reasons why in no particular order

wailing off key to your headphones
knowing it all about everything, and never shutting up about it
SLURPING hot tea so loud it can be heard 30 feet away
being unreliable
being unhelpful
being rude
repeating yourself (a pass given if you have been drinking)
thinking rules are meant for other people

I have to stop, urge to kill rising..... much change thoughts.....

Sunday Jamie Lou and I got the Camaro out of storage and put 100 miles on it. Good news it still has that new car smell. Bad news, the front license play bracket says I have to screw two holes into the front to push rivets into the car to hold it on permanently. I have ZERO interest in screwing holes into anything on that car. I am at a loss as to what to do. I know it is illegal to not have the front plate, but it should be illegal to have to deface that car to mount the plate too. So any suggestions?!?! I am listening.

Got to chat with my lil' sis from college last night on facebook. The interwebs are an amazing thing. real time chatting with an old friend who is in Shanghai, it is so amazing to me. When I went to college there were bulletin message boards and GOPHER from the university of Minnesota. Heck 3 1/2 inch floppies weren't even around, and now they don't hardly exist. Maybe a future post will be on things that have come and gone in the last 15 years. 3 1/2 inch floppies will make the list for sure.

So this is truly a random one I guess. Rage, Cars, requests for suggestions, Old friends, computers, and China. Now let's add in some Chains and there you have it!

I say it again, Suck it Trebek

Song of the day: "No Excuses" - Alice In Chains - man I hated this disk when I got it in college, It was so not what I wanted from Chains at that time, then I came back to it a few years later and really listened to it for the first time.... it is my second favorite album they did.

100th Post

2010-04-06T09:00:00.008-05:00

I never thought that would be possible, after 2 real layoffs from blogging, I think I am back at it and done feeling sorry for myself or what ever that mood was I was in last year.

So in honor of the 100th posting here are 100 things I like:

The Vikings
The Sharks
Tissot Watches
Camaros
Basset Hounds
Niece Ella
Nephew James
Nephew Peter
Taki
Mad Fish
I-Cubs
Big Cubs (sometimes, I am sure they will get them next year)
I-State Football
I-State basketball
the Palm Pre
the World of Warcraft
HD TVs
Dexter
Tool
Lost
big pimpin' Lincolns
beards
moustaches
Pandora internet radio
Jamie Lou (even when she drops a bowl of dog food on my head)
Florida
Kansas City
T&D and the summer pool
Air Conditioning
Gold's Gym working out with Floyd
Tattoos, but not on the neck
Earrings
Gordon Ramsey
Chocolate Milk
The original Clash of the Titans
Paul Rudd
Nathan Fillion
Bruce Campbell
Die Hard
X-Box
X-Box Live
the OC with Cas and Tad Chilly
Bowling
Movies with Gubby
getting over Billy Joe's closing the movies down
the thought of new house windows
Tailgating with the fam and Ty and Jess
MMA
Car shows that produce amazing things
Simpson College
being employed
College football
the NFL
NBA Playoffs
this college basketball season finally being done
Attack of the Show
Michelle Beadle
Sports Nation
Castle
SoaD
my fan at work
headphones at work
golfing
being messy
driving 100
driving a golf ball 300
NY Times crosswords
Tuesdays at Francies
working out
trying to be more healthy
Lowering my blood pressure
not sweating the small stuff
the interwebs
Bretr Favre
Adrian Peterson
Jared Allen
Kevin William
Paul Rhoads
Sam Adams
Fat Tire
Maker's Mark
Sbrocco
Centro
blogging
flossing
Mexico
Europe
the Valentin Imperial Maya
Sixlets
BJ Penn
Peeps
Circus Peanuts
Daytona's
Original Mi Mexico Margaritas
FPS Doug
the ORLY owl
Clearwater
New Jersey
Megadeth
Stupid lists
Larry's rendition of MIA's "Paper Planes"
Day Old Donuts
Half Gallon of Chocolate Milk
30 pounds in 30 days
Ford Contours
Shannon
8:00 am psych 101 classes, and the profs daughter
The Oakland A's
Hari wanting Jamie Lou ranked above WoW
My lil sis Sara

There! 100, Suck on that Trebek!

I am sure there are a bunch more that I missed... feel free to leave them in the comments

Lurkers Welcome - and a new trip into the world of video!

2010-04-05T08:24:00.006-05:00

My NeoCounter sent me an e-mail the other day (something I didn't really know it did). It sent me and e-mail that said I had my 950th unique city visit the blog. So that got me to thinking, while the friends that are here and following I know. there are obviously a bunch of others that have either stopped by once, or hopefully stop by regularly from many cities to see what is going on in the heartland.

So if you are just lurking around drop a comment below with what city you are in and if you have a blog leave that link too, I would love to drop on by and check it out.

On Friday we went out to celebrate Dani's b-day and it started with dinner at a hibachi table at Samurai Sushi and ended with too many drinks at Billy Joe's. I think good times were had by most. I tried out Add it Up by the Violent Fems and Call me Al by Paul Simon with and assist from Dani on the Simon ditty. I think for a first attempt they both came off OK. My Doorbell from the White Stripes was an epic fail, a terrible combination of too fast and too much beer. Mike hit a homer with "I am Man of Constant Sorrow". I think he should bring a fake beard next time. Amy, Dani, Zac, Tad Chilly and Cas all had fun songs. Mary Lyn wouldn't sing us anything, grrrrr. Larry brought us Paper Airplanes as a b-day request for Dani, while still a huge hit with us the rest of the bar didn't get into like the first time which I didn't get. And Amy's friend *insert name here as you see too many beers were had too remember* went the "funny" route dropping this bad boy on us "Since You've Been Gone" in the style of Kelly Clarkson:

Things I learned from the movie "Clash of the Titans"

2010-04-02T08:17:00.006-05:00

I am not going to beat around the bush on this one. This movie is terrible which makes me a little sad on the inside (I know hard to do since fat kids don't have feelings). The writing, the editing, the acting, the choreography, the special effects, the story ALL BAD!

I am begging you, if you have any fondness for the first one with it campy clay-mation and mechanical owl, STAY AWAY FROM THIS MOVIE! if you want to see a movie with a rancor, light saber and sand people watch Star Wars episodes 4 and 5.

So in honor of how just bad this movie was Here is what I learned from the bad movie "Clash of the Titans".

I learned that if you have a crap movie and don't want to tell a story drop the ever convienient "12 years later" text on the bottom of the screen. Yeah, that'll do donkey, that'll do.

I learned that Sam Worthington makes bad movies with Terminator Salvation, Avatar and Clash of the Titans under his belt.

Which oddly enough now that I am sitting to write this Worthington plays a Half man/Half Machine a Half Man/Half Navi and a Half Man/Half god in these three movies.... huge range shown in all three roles with great depth of character. I think he is just a terrible heartless actor.

I learned there are lots of movies that Liam Neeson has been in that I would rather watch including but not limited to:

Love Actually

The Dead Pool

Rob Roy (which is a better version of Brave Heart)

Darkman

Micheal Collins

Batman Begins

Kingdom of Heaven

Excalibur

Krull (which oddly enough I also saw at the Merle Hay Theater many years ago so I guess that closes this little circle up nice and tight)

I learned that Ralph Fiennes must really like playing Voldermort because his Hades performance felt like the same guy.

I also learned that there are lots of movies Ralph Fiennes has been in that I would rather watch including but not limited to:

Red Dragon

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

The Hurt Locker( I am so glad this movie received the awards it did and am saddened that Clash of the titans was able to be remade into what it was.)

Maid in Manhattan

Strange Days

Quiz Show

I learned that Gemma Arterton may have just made my list of 10.

I learned that if the next three movies shown at Merle Hay Theater are the Three trailers we Saw (A-Team, The Losers, and Robin Hood) I will see them all there. Love the giant Screen and the loud sound system.

I learned this movie was a soulless, story less, heartless rip off of the original.

I learned that this movie was a rip off of countless other things: original Clash, Star Wars, Gears of War...... Nothing felt honest or right with it.

Please, in the comment section. promise me you won't see this movie. Or that if you have to see the movie Clash of the Titans promise me you will rent the original.

Lastly we went to F&Os before the movie, and had dinner and played trivia. The first game I got in just in time to win HeHeHe

Stardate April 1, 2010

2010-04-01T09:32:00.005-05:00

I thought of writing up some post about how this would be my last post ever. That I have nothing more to write on anymore. That it wasn't fun. and then on April 2, be like, I WAS JUST KIDDING. Then I thought about saying I was making a cooking blog, or a daily devotional one....then I thought about how lame that really sounded in my head and how much I hate when radio shows and newspapers adn web sites do April Fool's editions. So instead I will write on other things.....

Jamie Lou and I thought about gutting the car out of storage at T&D's but like a lot of other things just haven't got to it yet. It has been so nice lately, that maybe this weekend is the one to do it.

For what ever reason I am on a mailing list for camaro related item. I would guess chevy put me on it. Shirts, hats, sunglasses you name it it is probably there. This is something that just really isn't for me. it is like the guy that has a Porsche, that has a Porsche key ring, and a hat that says Porsche. it looks lame and desperate to me. Like LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME! but there are some OK looking posters and this one have a color of "Synergy Green" that I haven't seen before. Whilst I do really like the green, I know I like my orange one better.

Yesterday's song made me think of college, so here is another that does that for me.

Song of the day: "The Distance" cake. Wow, finding how to get the code to put this video link in here from youtube sucked today... wonder if that is a permanent change they did? or if it is like Google changing their name to Topeka. See, LAME and I am glad I didn't do a blog like that today.

Things I like

2010-03-31T13:22:00.009-05:00

I got in the car after bowling last night. Hit the exterior temp control on the dash and there it was 7:30PM and it was 69 degrees. To some people that is great, a warm temperature, to me it is freaking funny. I don't know how or when it started but in my family and circle of friends the number 69 elicits a cackle of a laugh. You just point and give your best "HeHeHe" in a creepy old man laugh. If your tongue hangs out a bit all the better.

Drive past exit 69 on the highway? HeHeHe.

Team scores a 669 total game bowling? HeHeHe.

Jared Allen makes a tackle for a loss? HeHeHe.

See how the possibilities are endless with this?!?!

Sure I know it is juvenile at best, and maybe a little creepy at the worst. But to me it it is funny and will probably not ever be not funny. I am a simple man with simple likes. And for what ever reason this is one of them. Maybe now I need to get into NASCAR and see if there is a driver with the number 69 (HeHeHe). I guess I could set my favorite channel on the remote to recall 69 or 169 every time I click it HeHeHe. Oh this is never going to end.

Speaking of bowling Last night a young man that I thought may have been with the table next to us (turns out he wasn't) just plopped down with our work league and started chatting it up with us.

There were a few things this kid needed but I will tell you the things he did not.

He did not need confidence to sit down and strike up a conversation with people much older than him.

He didn't need an explanation on how the game of bowling is played.

He didn't need to be taught how to knuckle pound or high five or when to use them.

And Lastly he most certainly didn't need a haircut. This boy's mullet was F-A-N-T-A-S-T-I-C. When I was growing up, having a hair cut like this was just having long hair. Today it is a fashion choice and this kid rocked it. The only thing that may have made it a bit better is if he was wearing a shirt that somehow worked the number 69 onto it HeHEHE.

After Church on Sunday Jamie Lou and I tried to stop by the Waveland Cafe for some breakfast. It used to be a place we liked to go even though it was one of the smokier places around. Maybe in third place after the Front Row and Cooneys. But now that it is smoke free it would be perfect. Only apparently everyone else feels this way now as the place was more than a little bit packed. every seat was filled and there was a line of people waiting to get seated. There wasn't a lot of talking going on and there was a felling of pissed off/angry in the air from everyone that was eating. No smiles were on faces that I could see. So Jamie Lou decided to drive me to the other side of the world to try breakfast at MiMi's. Let's just say that the combination of screaming baby, 18 inch celery stalk in my bloody mary that when removed lowered the bloody mary volume in my glass by 20%, smudged mirrors, elitist emo kid meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time and telling the world his parents were wrong to be getting divorced in a voice loud enough to be heard next door, and so-so food left me less than impressed. I did like that they said it would be 15 minutes and it was only a 5 minute wait. As Jamie Lou says, under promise and over deliver and with the wait time they did it. But with everything else MiMi's may have made the Old Milwaukee Never Again list with me.

Song of the day: "Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check" Busta Rhymes. It makes me sad that videos are almost a thing of the past. In college when this bad boy showed up on MTv(yes you younger readers out there Music Television used to show music videos) I was like WOO HA, that is effing awesome.

In Like a Lion

2010-03-29T09:30:00.007-05:00

In like a Lion and out like a lamb. I guess that is what they say about the Month of March. Which got me a-thinkin' What does it even mean? Do lions and lamb ever really hang out together? Is there some awesome machine that you put in a Lion and get out a cute little lamb? Is it only in reference to the weather? Well to find the answer I went to the only real place for information the interwebs. Know what? there are lots of answers out there. The one that seems the best to me actually revolves around the constellations of Leo (LION) and Ares (ram/lamb) and there positions in the sky at the beginning and end of March. And how this constellation also seems to match March weather. Having a hard time following this pointless rant? Well then click here to get a great cartoon representation from a stargazer.

March for me and this blog it was in like a lion and out like a..... better than a lion.... a predator. I am trying to do more and give Witty little things for you to read about. While I cannot guarantee anything.... if you were to post a suggestion or two of things you might like to read about in the comment section.... I might talk to management and see what I can do. It makes it easier to write when you actually know people are reading.

I got a call from some friends and they were asking if I liked my Palm Pre, and with out hesitation I say it is the best phone I have ever owned. and I stand by that. it does everything you would ever need, the number of aps that are showing up increase daily (I must admit I still only get the free ones) and the fantastic pandora music to pass the time at work. My new favorite thing is a little painting piece of software they have. I am getting into self portraits at the moment, and if I get good enough I may move on to horses, God's most majestic creatures.

Song of the day "Who's the King" Dog Eat Dog. So these guys opened to Gravity Kills many moons ago at Peeple's in Ames. Fun band that actually had a sax wailing when they played. Made a joke that they had a gold record in Belgium and a wooden one in the states.

Stoopid reporting

2010-03-26T14:11:00.005-05:00

CNN had an article today that is beyond dumb. you can find it here with this title:

Alleged John Edwards sex tape survives courthouse fire

It then goes on to say that the tapes weren't even in the courthouse. WOW. REALLY?!?! Kind of like saying I survive Pompeii and Vesuvius because I wasn't born yet don't you think? Ranks up there with bad late night inside Hollywood that spent 5 minutes talking about a picture of tiger's wife in Europe even though it was her sister. AND THEY KNEW IT! It seems more than just a little lazy to me, it is dishonest. I don't much care for liars. If you are wrong that is one thing, but to pretend that an item is something it isn't... I hate it.

Jamie Lou went to the Black Eyed Peas last night at the well. She wanted me to go, but it seems like a big waste of money for the amount of enjoyment I would have received from it. For the third concert in a row she was amazed at the number of parents that bring their children to a profanity laced overtly sexual concert. I don't have a good answer for it, because it sure isn't for the art. I am thinking it is because the baby sitters are at the show too, and rather than stay home with the kiddies, it is easier to bring them to hear Luda...... the downfall of American society ;-)

So in honor of BEP be reppin' it. Here is Fergie pissing herself on stage

Happy Birthday Dani

2010-03-25T11:23:00.005-05:00

Well I guess for the next few months since we are now the same age well will probably have a lot more in common, but come August 28th all bets are off as I am sure I will have many new interests then.

Too bad UNI is more important to you than presents and parties... it only means and extra week of waiting. You want a hint for your gift? it is bigger than a bread box and smaller than a bread truck. See Two HINTS! If you solve this riddle you may get some insight into what you are getting:

Here on earth it is true, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where?

So happy birthday, good to see you when you swung by to see the Troll at Hooters. Glad to hear you had a fun time and saw a real one shoed drunk at the movies.

Jamie Lou says Happy B-Day too!

I guess you'll have to look forward to someday....

Get to the CHOPPAH!

2010-03-24T13:59:00.004-05:00

I gave in and got gas, the computer said 8 miles remaining, I really wanted to just go home, but I had a much better feeling after the 44 dollar fill up that the range said 325 miles. I am such a wimp. $44.00 even, I should have received a discount or something for hitting that amazing-high-expensive-unnecessary number.

TV shows have been pretty OK lately. I am enjoying the new FX Justified. Lost is winding down, nice to learn a little about Richard and Jacob last night. Chuck I am not so sure about, sometimes fun other times feels like they mail it in. Caprica has had some good moments lately too, I am curious to see how he story will change to the people that make it to the Battlestar. Nurse Jackie is DVR'd but not yet watched, I am geeked to see where that show takes everyone. And Dexter is the one I am truly waiting for anxiously. After the way last season ended, I can't wait to see what the writers do with Dexter. The put some new life into something that was a little formula based. And Flashforward I am hoping for big things from.

In 2011 George RR Martin's Game of Thrones is to be on HBO as a mini series/ show. I can't tell you how much I want this to happen. Almost as much As I would like him to finish his fucking next book. My sister sent me this about HBO's Game of Thrones:

Novelist George R.R. Martin, who just Monday blogged that he would be "gutted" if HBO decided not to order to series "Game of Thrones," was doing the "happy dance" Tuesday that he promised if the network moved ahead with the project. Adapted from Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" fantasy epic and shot in Northern Ireland and other European and North African locations in late 2009, "Game of Thrones" will resume production on nine additional episodes in the summer. One of the most anticipated TV series in a while, it probably will premiere in 2011. Written by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, the cast includes Mark Addy, Alfie Allen, Sean Bean, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Peter Dinklage, Jennifer Ehle, Jack Gleeson, Iain Glen, Kit Harrington, Lena Headey, Harry Lloyd, Richard Madden, Rory McCann, Tamzin Merchant, Sophie Turner, Maisie Williams, and Isaac Hempstead Wright. "From the start of this, I've told myself, 'Don't get too emotionally invested in this, or you will be devastated if it doesn't go,' Martin wrote in his blog Monday. "Wise words, those. I'm a smart guy. But easier said than done. I've failed. I am totally emotionally invested, and if HBO does indeed decide to pass, for whatever reason, I will be gutted. So let's all hope I am soon doing the happy dance instead."

Well I too would be gutted if I was deprived not only his next book but his show as well, I hope they stay true to the book. But there are some issues that can be put down on paper that if acted out may turn into a Lolita type problem. I am wondering how they will deal with that. First guess is to just make the children older, but who know....

Instead of music more along the line of Movies I am looking forward to:
The Predator has always been bit of a fun thing with me. Personally I think the Predator is a FANTASTIC movie, I actually really enjoy the second one too. AVP I didn't mind, honestly I never saw the newest one as billy joe's closed before it ever got there. Who would win in a fight? Predator. Who would you draft first? Vick? Peterson? no, Predator. There is no killing what can't be killed, no stopping what can't be stopped.

I am excited for this summer!

Miles To Empty

2010-03-23T08:27:00.004-05:00

Part of me wants to see how accurate the computer really is. But the biggest part of me has no interest in being out of gas on the side of the road so I suspect I will get gas tonight before bowling league. Strangely enough, I have never been been driver of a car that has broken down on the side of the road. When the Contour died, it died as I pulled into the lot at work. I have been in cars that have run out of gas, but I sure wasn't driving.

I would suppose that with a lot of things in life it would be nice to know how many more miles you had left. But then that might take some of the fun out of what is coming up next. Over at Run Fat Cam Run I am trying to keep an account of what is going on with trying to be a little bit better of a person. And while I can't say how many miles I have left I can say that over they last few weeks I do feel like my personal tank is getting bigger and I can go a little farther.

I have given up on road racing and running, I haven't shot a basketball in years, the invitation to play footy had to be respectfully declined. So that leaves bowling and golf (I don't think the sport of NASCAR would have me, those are finally tuned athletes). I played golf like twice last year. Don't really know why either, I quite enjoy golf and am fair to average at it. Bowling on the other hand I do get plenty of at the moment, and that is fine with me.

Song of the Day: "I Miss You" Blink 182.... this is a strange video for a catchy tune

Health Care

2010-03-22T13:17:00.006-05:00

I am not a political person. Not because I don't care, not because I don't have opinions, I think it is because I hate the aggression from other side from what I think in my mind is "right". And that goes both ways - dems and reps. And I have decided that there is really only the illusion of choice and all roads lead to the same place. I think I would qualify myself as a pro civil liberties, anti hate, people generally know better what is good for themselves, the haves should help the have nots, guns are good, don't tell a woman what to do with her body.... kind of guy.

My buddy at work a while back received a letter from the RNC, in the return address it was titled "2010 OBAMA AGENDA SURVEY". It makes me laugh the this mailing says there is an agenda. OF COURSE THERE IS A FUCKING AGENDA IT IS POLITICS EVERYONE HAS AN AGENDA, IT IS JUST THAT THEIR AGENDA FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER ISN'T YOURS. It is funny to me that this friend got this letter as he would be about as far from the RNC as any of my friends are.

The questionnaire inside just makes me shake my head. It is when my wife comes home and says things like "did you know that 1 in 10 people.... did you know that 40% of... did you know that...." I have a degree in Mathematics from Simpson College, one thing that I did learn is that numbers can be made to say anything you like. I wonder what this RNC survey is trying to make the numbers say. It has such gem questions like:

Do you agree with Barack Obama and the democrats that the taxes should be raised for the sake of "fairness," regardless of the negative impact it is likely to have on the economy? I love how they lower the importance of the president by referring to him by his first and last name. And what are we agreeing with? What was said by who? Did the democrats say regardless of the negative impact...? No one will agree with that statement the way it is worded.

Do you support the creation of a national health care plan that would be administered by bureaucrats in Washington, DC? Isn't this have bureaucrats do? Administer programs for the nation? Who would the RNC suggest runs the plan?

The questions go on and on with words like eliminate, controls, government-funded, unionization.... I would almost like the chance to re-write these questions just to make them in a way to get the complete opposite result as what was intended. i.e. Would you be in favor of a program that would allow 32 million Americans access to health care for the first time, allowing for medical care saving millions of dollars in emergency care by allowing for regular doctor visits and preventative care?

I am excited to see that finally there may be a chance for those people that have to tell their kids "Don't get sick we can't afford it" or the ones that wait to go to the emergency room when it is too late to treat their illness, or those that are diabetic and can't get treatment. .... I am excited that the greatest nation on the planet is trying to do something to help the health of it's people. You don't agree with me, suck it, I don't like politics and I am not going to debate it with you. It is my opinion and there isn't anything I want to hear from you on it. Or maybe that is the attitude that gets us the Glen Becks and Sean Hannitys and Keith Olbermanns of the world. What do I know? I am just a fat guy trying to get by happy to see a man get something done he campaigned to do.

Song of the day: In keeping with the health care theme no song of the day, but here is a show that is cranking up for season 2 tonight. It is one of my favorites right now as they are all so flawed, the kids the adults the patients, it has a "real" feel to it and I am glad to see it back. Nurse Jackie

Movie Review - Green Zone

2010-03-19T14:05:00.003-05:00

Went with Mike to the movie Green Zone starring Matt Damon. There wasn't much funny to learn from the this movie. Fictional Movies trying to find the why, where , when and why of how we were lead to believe there were WMDs in Iraq do not make for funny blogging fodder. A lot of people have given way too much for something that has been shown to be a terrible mistake at best and (as the movie portrays it) the biggest kind of treachery at the worst.

With that said here are a few things I learned from the movie Green Zone:

I learned that I chuckle every time I hear a a radio conversation contain the word "Niner"
I learned that every time I see Matt Damon's name or face for the first time on a movie I say out loud "Maaattt Daaammonnn" Thanks Matt Parker and Trey Stone, you have ruined his name for me.
I learned that after the bad guy gets shot in the movie, and the guy's phone behind you in the theater starts ringing to "Our God, is an Awesome God" it kinda sounded like it was part of the soundtrack at first.

So there is a new movie coming out called "Marmaduke". I wonder what it could be about.

This shot is to show that you dontt have a big enough room to take this promotional piece home. That or is show Mike is actually just a lilliputian.

There were some pretty good trailers. So in lieu of a song here are 2 movies I am looking forward to seeing:

St. Patty's Day

2010-03-17T14:35:00.006-05:00

I know this may come as a surprise to most of you, but St Patrick's day is one of my least favorite days of the year. The drunks and the drunk fighters and the drunk drivers come out in force. As my brother likes to say "The rookies come out and try to impress the pros and ruin it for everyone."

One good thing I have noticed is the progression of St. Paddy's (which is it Patty's or Paddy's?) Day t-shirts. Here they are in order for boring to awesome:

The bad:

The Better:

AND THE FANTASTIC!

Song of the day: "Jump Around" The House of Pain... I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe...

Things I Like

2010-03-16T10:23:00.005-05:00

There are certain things that strike me as funny that others could probably give a rip about let alone find the least be funny. The picture in the this post has made me chuckle for the last few days. All the way since the man mad it dark in the morning and light at night.

Billy Shakespeare wrote:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more;

So which is it? To Be or not to be? Life or Death? The last few mornings, since it is dark when I work out, the lights are still all on in the store fronts. And this liquor store next to Gold's Gym has made the decision:"To Be" LIFE and LIVING. And I salute you!

Song of the day. "Bad Romance" Lady Gaga
The Gaga Law (RAH)² (AH)³ + RO (MA + MAMA) + (GA)² + OOH(LA)² = Bad Romance

A strange thing happend this weekend

2010-03-15T08:10:00.002-05:00

So a strange thing happened this weekend to me. No there were no aliens, or drag queen shows involved this time. It happened at the Sprint Store on University. I received quick, prompt, fast, helpful, needed customer service. I know, hard to believe, but true.

A while back Jamie Lou and I got Palm Pre's to use as our primary cell phones. I can't speak for her but it is the best phone I have owned. Except for two things. 1) when you type numbers in by hand to dial a number it beeps and 2) my phone was broke and it thought the ear phone buds where in even when they weren't. That means to talk and HEAR someone on the phone I either needed my ear buds or to be on speaker phone. I found out quickly not being able to hear was no very useful.

So on Saturday we were out running errands and Jamie Lou asked if I had anymore things to do before we went home, and I said take me to the Sprint Store. She started to head to Merle Hay and I said no, that we needed to go to University to the main store where the techs are. She the through a fit about how awful a place it is. I don't know if she really ever had a traumatic event happen to her there or if she is just imagining horror from other's stories...

I told her to go to the book store, but she was determined to come in and see the awfulness that is Sprint Customer Service.

We came in and were third in line to be queued into the wait list. Within 1 minute we were on the "to talk to someone list" and within another 1 minute we were talking to a guy that says "Sure we can fix it" He mentioned it might take a few minutes.

So Jamie Lou and I waltzed over to Rock Bottom for a drink and a snack of pizza (which was pretty good) and headed back over.

When we got there we were informed that the phone wasn't "fixable" so I was getting a new phone. So just like that broken phone gone, new working phone in. Only bad thing is that I think(actually I know) I lost all phone numbers that I didn't have backed to my computer which is a bunch. So if I don't call it is prolly because I no longer have your phone number, so you text me with your name or shoot me an e-mail with your number and I will get them entered back in to the Pre.

So just when you think the terrorists have won, you get great service and a place people hate to go to. I gotta say, it was a good day.

Song of the Day: "Shiva" The Smashing Pumpkins I don't live - I Inhale, I don't give - I unveil......Got to see this played Live in Ames many years ago, Billy plays a better axe than I ever knew

Things I learned from the Movie "Cop Out"

2010-03-12T12:53:00.004-06:00

Went to the movie "Cop Out" staring Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan Directed by Kevin Smith.

Couldn't decide what movie to go to last night. When Billy Joe's was still open it was easy, there wasn't a choice. What ever was show we went to, unless it was a non-horror musical. For what ever reason I am so over musicals right now. There were a few movies on the "to choose from list":Brooklyn’s Finest, Cop Out, The Crazies, Crazy Heart. I was feeling that a light comedy was a perfect fit for the night so Cop Out was agreed to albeit begrudgingly with Mike. The movie was exactly what I thought it would be, and homage to 80's cop movie partner flicks.

With all that here a few of the things I learned:

I learned that I may be the only person on Earth that thinks Tracy Morgan is funny. It only took for me to realize that Tracy doesn't act, he really is that person and not playing that person. He is a riot.

I learned to tell us about the chicken

I learned that if coworkers are making fun of you and your partner, call your partner sitting next to you and talk about the co-workers in front of them like they aren't there.. When done hang up and say it was nothing.

I learned some boots you don't wear, they wear you.

I learned they call me Mr. Tibbs

I learned that cop comedies with partners for 9 years is funnier that just paired partners.

I learned that Kevin Smith, while too fat for Southwest Airlines, he can direct something he didn't write

I that learned that if it bleeds we can kill it.

I may be one of the only people that find Tracy Morgan funny. I really started liking him once I realized he doesn't act. What you see on the screen is how he is in real life. And that is indeed funny.

I learned Stiffler likes to do parkour, while his cell mate can knit the fuck out of a sweater.

If you take Earl and remove his beard he turns into a rich dick.

I learned that these are not the droids you are looking for.

If a step dad pays for a wedding the ex-wife feels that gives him the right to give the step daughter away at the wedding.

If the step dad tries to stand up to give her away your partner should put the barrel of his gun in the step dad's back and tell him to sit down

I learned we are going to need a bigger boat.

I learned if you nanny cam you wife to see if she is cheating on you. You should watch it all and not just the sexy beginning.

I learned Adam Brody and Kevin Pollak should be played by [insert like looking actor here ugh cant remember his name] and Robert DeNiro, to which Kevin Pollak will change his face to look just like De Niro

I learned that it is best if your boots are made from endangered animals like sea turtles or zebras

I learned you Told Harpo to beat me.

I learned that while your person you are protecting is being questioned by an interpreter eating chips and salsa can be loud

I learned when Tracy Morgan tries to get a suspect to talk he uses lines from movies

I learned that yes they deserved to die, and I hope the burn in hell.

I learned that nobody puts baby in a corner.

I leaned that Bruce Willis killed 11 people tonight

I learned Duck Season. Rabbit Season

I learned that an Andy Pafko card sold for $83,870.00

I learned Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice.

I learned it was her gay cousin. IT WAS HER GAY COUSIN!

Song of the day: Elastica "Stutter" just catchy with funny lyrics

what to say

2010-03-11T08:05:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I just sit here and have nothing to say. Not sure if it is because last night was on the boring side for me, but I don't think that is it. Could be that nothing funny happened around me, a little closer. Or it could be that I am just not that creative, may be a little too close to the truth to want to admit.....

Well even with all the crappy work place issues that have been going around, thus far Jamie Lou and I have weathered the storm. She was even lucky enough to get a little extra from her company in the form of a bonus. Now seeing where I work I had never heard of this word. So I had to look it up:

something given, paid, or received above what is due or expected - ex. a Christmas bonus for all employees

Interesting concept, I have never received one, but that is getting off point.....

So her little extra hit the account yesterday, and lucky enough for her that not only does she like nice things, but she works hard and deserves them. The last few years the reward of choice has been a Coach purse. And why not? They are a statement and look nice. Unfortunately I have had to insert myself into the purse buying process. For what ever reason this fashionable, smart chick is broken when it comes to purse selecting. Case in point, last night the first one she picks is a hand bag that is the color of old woman's underwear. Truly horrible. "But I like it," she says. The next one is this gray number. Because hey, what says spring has sprung like a ugly gray purse? I got her narrowed down to two more festive choices, and then she made the final decision. See how I do that, get it down to only good choices, then it is win-win. She gets something nice, and I am nor embarrassed to be seen with it. Some people say "Don;t you have enough purses?!?!" I say, that is why you work hard and get ahead, so if you want fun stuff, you can have it.

Song of the day: The Raconteurs "Steady, As She Goes" I think I have a man-crush on Jack White

Global Warming

2010-03-10T12:44:00.004-06:00

Help is what is needed, and in the worst of ways. Friday My trash cans were able to sit on the ground and not on 3 feet of snow in my front yard. If this Global Warming continues I will soon be able to take the cans to the street by quietly rolling them through the thick green grass instead of noisily down the broken beat up driveway. This is madness and if we don't find a way to make it colder and keep snow around I may even have to rake or mow. This is crazy talk!

On a completely different line of thought I do love pandora on my palm pre, hook it up to the USB and rock out at work, and maybe block out other noise like that effing printer that never stops running all day.

Song of the day: The White Stripes "My Doorbell" When you gunna ring it, when you gunna ring it?

Oscar - Best Movie

2010-03-09T08:55:00.003-06:00

Well I am no one to re-hash old blog posts, heck lately I am not one to post at all but the Oscar for best picture got me thinking. Got me to think that I really feel the best flick did win. So here is my "Things I learned from "The Hurt Locker"" The link actually has a few more things that Mike Learned too. Looking back I must have really enjoyed this movie if the last thing I 'learned' was: I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.

The movie "The Hurt Locker" was one that I was geeked to see as I had heard good things about it from the interwebs and the newspaper and the trailer I saw for it on HDnet. Some of the first words up on the screen are "War is a drug." And after seeing what war does to the star of the movie you get a sense of what that means. To get his "fix" he does what ever he can and the more normal he tries to be, the more he wants to be back disarming munitions. The movie had many suspenseful moments and with few explosion. If I remember the count right a movie about disarming bombs had four explosions. Hear that Micheal Bay, you hack of a movie man, you don't need to blow shit up a thousand times to make it exciting, loser.
That said here are a few things I learned from the movie "The Hurt Locker"

I learned that if you have a bomb with a big enough bang to blow up Jesus, you might as well take off you bomb suit so you can die comfortably.

I learned that babies love everything. The mobile, the jack in the, box the stuffed animals.

I also learned that when they get older they will discover the jack in the box is just a box with a stuffed animal.

Additionally they will only come to love two things, but our star of the movie only loved one thing.

I learned that Bravo company only had 38 days left.

I learned that Delta company has 365 days left.

I learned that war is a drug.

I learned that our star is a "wild man".

I learned that he has disarmed 873 bombs.

I learned that the best way to disarm a bomb is in "the way that doesn't get you killed"

I learned that responding to the Question "what is the best way to disarm a bomb?" with the answer "the way that doesn't get you killed" is something a wild man would say.

I learned that "*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive *trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive"

I learned that choosing cereal and all groceries can be too daunting a task for someone that wants to be back doing the on thing that they love.

I learned that street vendors speak like they learned English from a NWA rap album in Iraq.

I learned that if Beckham sells him one more DVD that is of shaky unfocused quality, he is going to cut his head off.

I learned he is kidding.

I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.

re-birth, and re-launch, and a re-start

2010-03-08T11:07:00.002-06:00

Not sure if it should be called a re-birth, and re-launch, and a re-start. But that is what I am doing starting today, re-starting both An Iowan's Random Rambles and Run Fat Cam Run.
With as much effort as I put in getting my interwebs back up at home I think getting back into blogging is the least I could do.

It started on Wednesday, the interwebs stopped. The modem showed no activity, the activity light would flick on every once in a while. After way too many beers Friday night I decided I would fix the modem. Let me just tell you, know that punching the modem only really serves to completely break it and not as intended to "fix it". Actually I would recommend not punching any electronics if they aren't functioning as expected (see, this re-launch is going to be educational as well as entertaining at least to me).

So off to Best Buy Sunday night I went and got a new Zoom cable modem. Hook it up, and it was a no go. Then I remember to activate your modem with mediacom there is a website to go to.
Hmmm, well I have no internets... just so happens my friend Keith calls and he does some digging. He finally finds a usable IP. Once I get into that, it wants my account number and confirmation number.

Hmmm, well we switched to paper-less on-line only paperwork. Jamie Lou was nice enough to dig up a bill from 2006. That has the account number but no confirmation number.
I call Keith back, He does more research for me he suggests try the last 9 numbers of the account number for the confirmation, Hey that works.

Now to authorize the modem swap I need a technician's number...
OMG when will this ever end?

Just then the Mediacom customer service line answers (did I mention I have been on hold with mediacom for the last 45 minutes? no? well I was). I hang up with Keith and explain to my new customer service friend that I am activating a new modem and need a technician's number. Before I can react she says I need tech support and I am on hold again. If only I could have gotten to this website I would have used it : USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY.

Luckily this time it was only a 5 or 10 minute wait. I explain to him that I need a technician's number and he proceeds to say any number 1 - 999999 would have worked. Again: USE IN CASE OF EMERGENCY. I put in 999999, and magically nothing happens. Another 30 minutes with a VERY helpful tech (and that isn't sarcasm, really it isn't, he was very helpful) I got all the DNS server issues and MAC address issues sorted out and Casa D'Christensen was back on the tubes to the internets. Strangely enough this new modem is much faster compared to the old one. So the moral to the story? Sometimes drinking a gallon of beer and smashing what you think is the problem does end up being a first step to finding the solution.

Strangest thing I heard this weekend? "Well this last couple I dated, The husband wanted me to pee on him so I told him, 'Get in the tub.'"

Second strangest? "I saw you sitting there and wanted to talk to you. You see I am friends with 12 Alpha Males, but I am the top Alpha Male. So I know how to be in charge."

Song of the day: System of a Down "Sugar" In the end it all goes away......

T.A.N.B.T.N.O.D.

2009-11-25T10:37:00.004-06:00

T.A.N.B.T.N.O.D.

The time has come and T.A.N.B.T.N.O.D. is here again. Tonight promises to me Legen...wait for it....dary!

After a little hiatus, I am back :)

look for a write up this weekend of T.A.N.B.T.N.O.D.

The weekend that was Part 3 of 3

2009-10-02T15:43:00.005-05:00

This last weekend was one of the best weekends ever. Friday night was the Dave Matthews Band. Saturday was tailgating and the I-State vs. Army football game. Sunday I was at the Vikings vs. 49ers game in Minneapolis (maybe the best finish I have seen in person).

Last up is the Sunday Vikings vs. 49ers experience.

I got home around 11:30 from the Army game. A little too excited to sleep so being the uber geek that I am rolled my toon CTMcGee around Northrend for a few hours, that was dumb as I was having Zac come over to my house at 5AM to leave for Minny.

Zac was there right on time. Zac was going up because the 49ers are his favorite team and his b-day was in August so I convinced Jamie Lou that I should get him tickets for his birthday. It is a little tricked I learned from Jamie Lou to get a little juice for yourself. More commonly seen by buying yourself things you need right before Christmas and your birthday so that when gifts come that you already have you can take those back and get new things. Double dipping I'll call it.

Up North we headed, uneventful trip, intern Steve slept in the back seat most of the way up. Steve too loved the 49ers, and had a ticket so he tagged along with the brothers Christensen. on a side note I really need to start taking pictures of these trips... I have really none from it.

When we got to the cities we parked about 6 blocks from the dome off of 5th. the street spots were all taken but we found a lot for 6 dollars. While the walk is a bit far it is more than paid back by being 34 bucks cheaper than the lots closer to the dome and being able to leave town in a jiffy after the game as the ramp to the interstate is 3 blocks away from where we park.

We then wandered up past the dome and a few blocks beyond to Grumpy's. Zac and I had some egg bake and beers while Steve opted for buffalo wings and beer. It was a bit strange to be on a patio with smokers now that it is verboten in Iowa, but the sun and good times made that not such a big deal.

After Grumpy's it was off to the dome, we got there 45 minutes before kickoff. Always fun to boo the visitors as they come out of the tunnel to warm up and to hear that viking horn blow and cheer the boys in purple. Particularly fun for me was the fact the Jim Marshall blew thew horn to call out the team, he is a big BIG man. you can kind of see him int he photo below:

The first half was going famously, getting ready to go up 16 - 7 and receive the ball in the second half only to have the field goal blocked and returned for a TD by San Fran. Memo to Steve Hutchinson: you are great but you have to get up out of your stance when the ball gets hiked...dick. So instead of 16- 7 and getting the ball we were now down 13 - 14. I will say though that so far this year we have had to special teams TDs against us and we won both those games, so maybe it is a good luck kind of thing....maybe.

An amazing kickoff return by future RoY Percy Harvin got the crowd back into it. He is so amazingly fast in person. And to be able to run 101 yards and not have a finger touch you is even more amazing.

Vernon Davis' touchdown with around 9 minutes put San Fran up 4 but I still had a good feeling. When the Vikes went for it on fourth down and failed to convert at midfield, I didn't have such a good feeling. When the people started streaming out even though we still had 3 timeouts I felt a little worse. The the niners we ultra conservative with 3 runs in a row I felt a little better. When they kicked it in the end zone and we only need an 80 yard TD with 1:29 I even felt a little better. When Greg Lewis caught a 50 yard laser from Favre for the game winner with 2 seconds left, I really couldn't believe what I saw. I had never been to a game that finished like that. I have seen goal line stands, I have seen field goals made and missed to win games. But I have NEVER seen in person an ending like that.

The poor 49er fans went from happy to sad with the flick of a wrist. Even with thousands of people having left early that is the loudest I have ever heard that stadium get. It may have even been a touch louder when the play was confirmed.

Some even more exciting things coming up form me in the coming week or two. You can read about those fun things here when they are posted.

The weekend that was Part 2 of 3

2009-10-01T16:23:00.003-05:00

This last weekend was one of the best weekends ever. Friday night was the Dave Matthews Band. Saturday was tailgating and the I-State vs. Army football game. Sunday I was at the Vikings vs. 49ers game in Minneapolis (maybe the best finish I have seen in person).

Second up is the Saturday I-State vs. Army experience.

Unfortunately our friends Ty and Jess couldn't make the Army game. While we did miss them their tickets didn't go to waste as cousin Lauree and Dan were going to go in their stead. Well Dan called in sick with a sandy vagina but second cousin Keegan filled in quite perfectly.

The day started with us meeting at 12:30 at T and D's and packing to go up to Ames. The trailer hitch shelf that we got some years back is turning out to be quite a useful purchase. It allowed 5 people, the next bigger than the last, and 6 chairs and 3 coolers and 3 plastic totes and 1 grill and one small tent with USA cover to fit in to the Envoy. All those years of Dr. Mario and Tetris in college really is paying off better than my degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science on a daily basis I am finding.

We got to Ames at around 1:45 and started to unpack. We are becoming quite efficient if I do say so myself. it was around 1:46 I remember seeing the grill's gas regulator and tank sitting in T and D's garage back in Granger. That was a low point of the day for me I think. But Jamie Lou was still in Des Moines coming up later so she was able to make it out there and pick it up for us. Double lucky for us are the nice people we have been tailgating with this season as we were able to use some one else's Roadtrip gas tank until Jamie Lou could make it up to Ames.

Eventually Jamie Lou did make it along with Brazilian coworkers Flavio and Renato. It was Flavio and Renato's first experience with American football and Iowa Sate tailgating. I am positive they left the country really enjoying both.

It was burger, beers and brats for lunch. Tried some new pineapple stuffed brats and people seemed to enjoy them. I only picked up four so didn't personally get one, but judging by the fact they all got snarfed down they couldn't have been too bad. I also for the first time picked up some thin sliced pork loins. I covered them in A-1 on both sides grilled them up and tossed them on some buns. They worked out quite nicely. Tastey, quick, easy can't do much better than that.

As has become our tradition we leave our tailgate up during the game. This is done for two reasons 1) so that we can come out and have some beers at half time (so glad they still allow pass outs) and B) instead of fighting traffic, it is just as easy to fire up the grill and eat dinner and let the traffic clear out rather than fight it and get mad.

As the game was against Army once every hour on the hour two howitzers were shot off. Man o man were they loud on that side of the stadium. We caught a couple Go Army national guard mini footballs, so that is always fun. We tried to find family of some of my friends, but with that many people around it is almost impossible. We did get to meet up with one of Lauree's friends so that was nice. At half time of the gave 13 current I-State student swore into the Army and would be recognized as officers upon their graduation. I hate to say it but when the ceremony started and the man in charge said "Repeat after me. I, State your name" the lady in front of me and I both said aloud at the same time "I state your name" she got a head slap from her husband, I got the "dumb-ass" look from Jamie Lou. I blame Mel Brooks.

The game itself was a nice game by our Clones. A nice solid win with decent passing and better running being displayed. 3 -1 at this point is right where I thought they would be. I am hoping for a win this next Saturday vs K-State. that would put them at 4 -1 and need only two more W's to be bowl eligible. With this new staff and the young players that extra practice time they would get would be invaluable.

Next up Sunday......

The weekend that was Part 1 of 3

2009-09-30T16:31:00.002-05:00

This last weekend was one of the best weekends ever. Friday night was the Dave Matthews Band. Saturday was tailgating and the I-State vs. Army football game. Sunday I was at the Vikings vs. 49ers game in Minneapolis (maybe the best finish I have seen in person).

First up Friday night with DMB recap.

Jamie Lou and I made a night of it with Russ and Shannon. And what a full night it was (coulda been more fuller, but the Doners had to leave at 6AM the next morning for South Dakota but I'll leave that for them to blog on if they so choose). The picked us up right around 5:15 and we headed downtown.

Originally we thought of going to the Star Bar to eat then go to the show, but with Jamie Lou and Cas' Britney experience with the Star Bar (missed part of the opening act as service was S-L-O-W) being closer to downtown and the show just made more sense. So then the thought was to go to the Court Avenue Brew Company to eat and drink, walk to Principal Park, and then head home.

The girls drove and dumped me and Russ out in front of the CABCO and we walked in while they parked. Well it was shoulder to shoulder in the lobby. It was at this point Russ says, I think Wicked is opening at the civic center tonight too. I tell him to wait there and I would check out the Royal Mile. The RM was also standing room only, but only three doors down there was a little Italian Sandwich store open with only a cop in it. The Chicago Italian Beef Sandwiches smelled so good that unsolicited the cop said to us (Russ had given up on the CAB by then and found me) "best sandwich in Des Moines, and they don't even serve donuts here." I said funny donut joke. So we waited for the girls. They were finally able to park at like 6th and MLK in some industrial parking lot and wander over and find us.

Well it was a little warm in the store and it didn't appear that there was any booze at the eating place Russ and I found so the girls went across the street to a dive bar. The called us and said there were 4 seats left, so Russ and I left our new Italian friend and headed across the street. The restaurant was called... uummm I have no idea but it had GREAT cavatelli and cold beer so I was happy.

After eating we wandered down to Principal Park where the Robert Randolph Family Band has already begun. The set up wasn't what I had expected (once long ago I saw the beach boys do a show at the ballpark and I thought I remembered then being right on the infield). the Stage was set up all the way back against the center field fence and other than the grass on the infield and maybe the grass in the people's pockets in GA, the grass was decked over for people to walk on and not ruin the field. Our seats were first row on the first base line, great seats. Would have been really good if the two jack asses behind us would have shut up even for five minutes during the first hour of the concert. Really, why would someone pay that much money to sit and talk the entire time?

My favorites from the show were "I got a Woman" "Crash into Me" and the cover of Talking Heads' "Burining Down the House". I would be remiss if I didn't say that "Ain't Nothing Wrong With That" live by Robert Randolph was FANTASTIC!. I will say this, being sober (Thanks 8 dollar beer night at the ball bark) Jam bands can get a little "Jammie". But man was it ever a good show.

Set list from the show:
1 Don't Drink the Water
2 So Damn Lucky
3 Seven
4 Funny the Way It Is
5 Shake Me Like a Monkey
6 You Might Die Trying
7 Stay or Leave
8 Why I Am
9 Lying in the Hands of God 10:17
10 Crash Into Me »
11 Crush 14:59
12 Alligator Pie
13 I Got a Woman [partial] with Robert Randolph
14 Rhyme & Reason 8:27 with Robert Randolph
15 Burning Down the House
16 You & Me
17 So Much to Say »
Anyone Seen the Bridge »
Too Much [fake] »
18 Ants Marching Closing
19 Baby Blue Encore1
20 Blue Water [partial] » E2
21 The Maker 7:50 E3
Pantala Naga Pampa »
22 Rapunzel E4

Things I learned from the Movie "The Hurt Locker"

2009-08-28T08:02:00.005-05:00

The movie "The Hurt Locker" was one that I was geeked to see as I had heard good things about it from the interwebs and the newspaper and the trailer I saw for it on HDnet. Some of the first words up on the screen are "War is a drug." And after seeing what war does to the star of the movie you get a sense of what that means. To get his "fix" he does what ever he can and the more normal he tries to be, the more he wants to be back disarming munitions. The movie had many suspenseful moments and with few explosion. If I remember the count right a movie about disarming bombs had four explosions. Hear that Micheal Bay, you hack of a movie man, you don't need to blow shit up a thousand times to make it exciting, loser.

That said here are a few things I learned from the movie "The Hurt Locker"

I learned that if you have a bomb with a big enough bang to blow up Jesus, you might as well take off you bomb suit so you can die comfortably.

I learned that babies love everything. The mobile, the jack in the, box the stuffed animals.

I also learned that when they get older they will discover the jack in the box is just a box with a stuffed animal.

Additionally they will only come to love two things, but our star of the movie only loved one thing.

I learned that Bravo company only had 38 days left.

I learned that Delta company has 365 days left.

I learned that war is a drug.

I learned that our star is a "wild man".

I learned that he has disarmed 873 bombs.

I learned that the best way to disarm a bomb is in "the way that doesn't get you killed"

I learned that responding to the Question "what is the best way to disarm a bomb?" with the answer "the way that doesn't get you killed" is something a wild man would say.

I learned that "*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive *trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive*trigger click* Thompson is still Alive"

I learned that choosing cereal and all groceries can be too daunting a task for someone that wants to be back doing the on thing that they love.

I learned that street vendors speak like they learned English from a NWA rap album in Iraq.

I learned that if Beckham sells him one more DVD that is of shaky unfocused quality, he is going to cut his head off.

I learned he is kidding.

I also learned that when the movie is good and tells an interesting story it is hard for me to come up with 100 things funny with it.

New Ink!

2009-08-26T00:11:00.004-05:00

Went to see Jack Lowe at the Skin Kitchen.... Set up the appointment so long ago that when my Palm Pre reminded me Monday morning it was like Christmas....

It is the 10th anniversary for Me and Jamie Lou, so I went for a Jamie Lou Tattoo! At one point a few years back on New Years Eve, I got Jamie Lou to hold a machine gun in one hand and a pistol in the other our friends Kari and Eric's place(a little side note if it is 2AM and you call some people up in Norwalk and they are still going strong on New Years and tell you to 'come on down' buckle up because it will be a GREAT time). While I have the photo from that night of that pose it is just truely a horrible photo. Maybe too much holiday cheer, maybe her being terrified of holding Eric's rifle... either way, what I had hoped was going to be a nice idea for a tattoo ended up a no go. I ended up deciding traditional is the way to go for me this time, getting away from the celtic knots.

10th anniversary, Diamonds are the gifts. Yes, there are diamonds.

She loves roses, yep there are those.. one open in bloom and more still to come with the rose bud....

Her name is for sure there, and if I hear one more time "Here name? what if you get divorced?" I might punch that person in the arm or throat. Not sure what shitty relashonships you are in, but ours is strong. So leave your baggage far from me, sorry your folks didn't love you enough or you hate your husband or what ever your mind is messed up on I could give a rip what your issues are. Plus she knows what will happen if she tries to leave, don't you baby?!? (j/k)

and then it looked like it needed somethign else, so why not a swollow for a traditional tattoo finisher.

This photo was from my Palm Pre taken at work shot with my left hand so forgive me if it goes astray, it really doesn't do the colors justice. This is on the inside of my upper right sleave. In the Style of Sailor Jerry here you go. Let me know what you think:

I-State's Meet the Coaches Night 2009

2009-08-17T21:10:00.011-05:00

First let me apologize, I forgot my good camera at home so the point and shoot with 3x zoom will leave a lot to be desired on the photos. Secondly, there were a lot of people there tonight, I forgot to look at the total number of tables but I would guess at least 80- with 8 people at them so a nice strong turnout over 650 cyclone boosters (probably quite a bit more).

Social hour was around 40 minutes we got to have some over priced beers, but at least they were cold. Then we all sat to have Christiani's Catering. As far as buffet group dinners go this one was a-ok, pasta with Sausage, thin sliced beef, nice salads. Enough to get full on :)

There was a raffle drawing. 31 prizes given out, 2 amazing enough to our one table (nothing for me though). These two prizes included a 100th cyclone basket ball DVD and a sack of cyclone golf paraphernalia (putter cover, 3 -wood cover, balls). not sure what the other 29 prizes entailed.

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First up was John Walters thanking the sponsors and Frank Santana for the use of the Seven Flags event center.

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Then Jon Schaben had a live auction. First up was Big 12 Tournament Fantasy Week experience. It included Men's and Women's Basketball tickets for the lower bowl seating, lodging at the team hotel, and I believe transportation to and from the tourney. My max amount was quickly passed up and it ended up going for $2,5000.00. Not a bad haul for 5 minutes of work.

Next up for auction was 2 sideline passes for all six home games at Jack Trice this season. It too brought in nice money as it quickly went for $2,000.00.

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A nice little picture slide show went by with highlights from the last year in sports.

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Then Emcee Walters (or Oprah as he wanted to be called) took back over. This year instead of a "mild" coaches roast with some serious points thrown in it was a round table complete with couch and and a table (see photos below). With Walte... Oprah asking the questions, First up was Athletics Director Jamie Pollard (JP).

JP was quick to point out that it is the first time in I-State history that 5 teams finished in the top 25 season ending polls. Those teams included Wrestling, Volleyball, Women's Basketball (forgive me I went to get 2 more expensive cold beers at this point)

JP pointed out that I-state's 450 athletes as a whole 9 of the last 11 semesters have had a higher GPA and a graduation rate at 10% higher than general student population.

Said he saw Lenard Johnson (LJ) playing ping pong with Coach Paul Rhoads (CPR). JP asked LJ to swing by his office so he could get a feel for what the players think of CPR. LJ said never in his life did he think a coach with play ping pong with him and just hang. The point being there is a different vibe and feel with this staff and the players.
JP's backyard over looks CPR's house. so when the moving company showed up and pulled off 2 Harleys JP's wife called JP just to let him know. JP asked CPR are you a rider, and he was like "oh absolutely." JP thought, maybe I should have added some protection in the contract.... Then he finds out CPR is going to learn about flying airplanes. JP is realizing CPR is a risk taker, writes CPR's agent that they need to rework his contract (laughs). But is sure of one thing. Punting on 4th and inches isn't going to happen.

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Next up on Oprah's couch was Kevin Jackson (KJ) and Chris Bono (CB). KJ is here for National titles, developing great men, and beating Iowa. CB actually called KJ and said he wanted on the staff before he even had the job. Neither thought that KJ not having been a college head coach will make a bit of difference in the end. KJ informed all in attendance to be at the December 6th Iowa match and if we get snowed in Ames we can all stay at his place that night. Because he is the decider, KJ then asked his wife if that is OK.
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Jon Schaben then finished up the Auctioning. Womens trip for two @Texas on Jan 23rd with trip and stay and Men's trip at Kansas both went for $2,000.00 a peice.

Lastly a Luxury suite with 24 tickets, 6 parking passes and 6 guest passes went right past our bid hope of 2,500 to $6,500.00. In 15 total minutes of work $15,000.00 had been raised.
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Then was the elite 8 round table with Christy Johnson (CJ) and Bill Fennelly (BF). CJ noted that it has been a steady climb from winning, to qualifier, to sweet 16 to elite 8. BF pointed out that was 15 years for him for the elite 8. Volleyball was #13 in attendance, women's basketball was #3 in the nation. Both were thankful for the support from the fans. CJ is excited that at the end of the year they had 4 freshman on the floor and what that means for the future. BF then said she would be final four this year. BF wanted everyone to know that there is no finer representative of I-state than Greg McDermott(GM) and his wife Theressa.

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Next up was GM. September 7t Lucca Staiger is playing with the German National team, had hopped to play with Dirk Nowitsky, but it didn't happen. Jamie VanderBeeken has broken his foot and it out at least a month(not sure if that was just 1 month or a month of the season). They took these harder games (duke, ND) because he wants to challenge his kids and that this team has a great story to tell and any chance he can get it on to television and around the country he will take it.

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Then there was an inspirational Cyclone feature about Men's golfer Tyler Swanson who almost died in a car crash. Who went from almost dead, to being given a 50% chance to lead an unassisted life to being the first person one specialist had ever seen with head injuries that bad go back to school. Quite a story.

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Lastly was CPR. Like KJ he makes the major decisions in his house. It is just amazing to him that in 18 years there hasn't had to be one major decision he had to make. He went through the day in the life of a cyclone football player. Let me just say it start at wake up at 6AM and ends at lights out at 10:30 PM and is regimented in between like you wouldn't believe.

The coaches he brought along he brought for specific reasons 1) to recruit specific regions. 2) care for the kids. This year there has been parent separations, parents going to hospice, grand parents falling very ill, his staff handles all the kids in the right way. and 3) guys that are amazing Educators. He is proud of their progress. They are playing with Urgency. And they are playing smart. and they are playing with passion. They ran a 155 play scrimmage and they only had 8 loafs where maximum effort wasn't given. This team will play hard and to the whistle.

PHOTOS:

Emcee John "the Oprah" Walters

Cameron Ted, Cy and Jamie Lou

Sean and Jayna

Amy and Kevin - Neil

Before the show got started social hour

John Schaben doing his thing

JW with JP

JW with KJ and CB

a great under armour logo, with JW with CJ and BF in the background.

An Ear and head with JW and GM in the background.

your new head coach!

THE HOUNDS
Prissy
Moses

Mexico Trip

2009-08-17T01:15:00.011-05:00

I didn't have the time or energy to put together another long anniversary post, but if you like like to see last year's you can find that by clicking here: CLICK HERE FOR LAST YEAR'S ANNIVERSARY POST.

This year was a big year Jamie Lou and myself. July 24, 2009 was out 10th anniversary. Still going strong so you naysayers (if there are any of you left) suck it.

This year we took a trip to Mexico, back to the Valentin Imperial Maya, Located just south of Cancun. If you are ever looking for a easy way to travel I can't recommend Apple Vacations enough. Since our first trip to Aruba 10 years ago when we have traveled to paradise we have, with the exception of one trip, used them exclusively. From airfare to transfers to and from the resort it truly is a one stop shop.

Now I say we went back and that is because Jamie Lou and I were there last November with our friends Rusty and Shonnon Doner who were celebrating their 10th then as well. Jamie Lou and I thought it was great, so great we wanted to try it again. Now if that makes us boring, then that is what we are. I could almost hang there for a week or two every six months and not want for more.

Now thanks to the beauty or the interwebs and facebookster we have met friends that I think we may actually stay in touch with :-) It isn't every day that you get to hang out with Texans, Australians and Canadians adn some other Iowans at one time. So Kenneth and Melissa, Kristina and Blair, Becky and Todd, Nate and Heidi thanks for making our 10th a great and memorable time, and we'd love to vacation will all of you again. So without anymore poorly written words here are some photos from Mexico 2009!

Kenneth and Melissa, Jamie Lou and Cameron Ted, Blair and Kristina. I still dig that shirt Kenneth, Blair, sorry for the burn man.

Cameron Ted and Jamie Lou on the last night in Mexico.

Cameron Ted, Gilberto, and Jamie Lou. Gilberto worked at the Mexican Resturant and was always willing to go above and beyond the call to be a gracious host. We liked him a lot.

Great Beaches, great ocean and great weather, Great friends, great service and great dos-bananas! Tres-Bananas was even better!

Kenneth and Melissa, Kristina and Blair at Midnight Buffet at the Indonesian restaurants; Very hit or miss as it was the food from the restaurants served on a buffet, but sometimes really good. I foudn that drinking for 12 hours a day makes most things taste pretty good.

Todd, Cameron Ted, and Rebecca

Todd getting a bit fresh and Becky doesn't seem to mind on little bit lol

Blair and Krisitina and Cameron Ted. Those could be some "Yara"-caladas on the bar. Yara was a bartender on the resort and was more than willing to just whip us somethign up to drink.

Cameron Ted, Melissa and Kenneth. I think Kenneth and I are quite a bit alike....

Mexican Buffet night, too bad it was hot and then buggy....

Jamie Lou and Cameron at the French resturant Man we had more than one good meal there.

I'm not dead yet...

2009-08-14T02:19:00.003-05:00

No, I am not dead
No, this blog isn't defunct
No, Jamie Lou didn't stab me

What has happened is Jamie Lou and I took a great, long, 10 anniversary vacation to Mexico and between, getting ready, the trip, getting back to work *ugh*, and my lvl 80 frost mage there just hasn't been a ton of time. But I am back and here are the things you have to look forward to:

Mexico photos and stories
What I learned from Transformers 2
My I-state football preview complete with predictions
What I learned from GI Joe
New Friends we met in Mexico
and anything else you would like to hear from me on..... so leave a comment or drop me a text or an e-mail and I shal do my best

Here are a few of our new friends from mexico:

From Left to right: Kenneth & Melissa, Jamie Lou & Cameron Ted, Blair & Kristina

woot follow up...

2009-07-13T08:55:00.000-05:00

well I just read how the Crap is being sent out from their blog :(I need to learn how to read SO COME ON NUMBER 2)

Thanks For Five Years Of Wooting, Wooters!
Don’t you hate those jerks who have nothing better to do than sit up at midnight and hit refresh so they can snipe your rightful Bag O’ Crap out from under you?
So we’re faced with the strange problem of figuring out the fairest way to dish out your crap. Fortunately, those low-down crap rustlers don’t usually read this text. So they don’t know that everybody who buys today’s Woot-Off lights will automatically have a (slim) chance at receiving a genuine Bag O’ Crap. That’s how we’re celebrating our fifth birthday today. It was either this or Chuck E. Cheese.
Here’s the way it works. You buy these tasteful, dynamic, unique, attractive, useless Woot-Off lights, for the oddly familiar price of $3 plus $5 shipping. That’s your end of the deal.
Then, if the last digit of your order number matches the last integer digit (that’s the ones digit) of the final Dow Jones Industrial Average at the close of business Monday, July 13, 2009 (after all settling), we’ll send you a bonafide Bag O’ Crap. We promise only that it will include a bag and some quantity of crap. Thrilling, we know.
Since these lowly Woot-Off lights are likely to be available for a while, we figured this sort of randomness was a better way to distribute crap than the usual mad scramble where everybody gets mad and blames everything on our poor servers. They’ve taken too much abuse from you people already. If you don’t like the outcome this time, take it up with Wall Street.
So those of you who aspire to buy our crap, buy these crappy lights and wait for astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Jim Lovell (along with some Louis Vuitton executive) to ring the closing bell on Monday. 9 out of 10 of you will receive Woot-Off lights and only Woot-Off lights. 1 out of 10 will receive Woot-Off lights plus the obligation to take some of this garbage off of our hands.
The question in that scenario is, who are the “winners” and who are the “losers”? If you’re one of the aforementioned jerks, feel free to tell everybody in our forums how much you regret wasting your money on that garbage.
And we’ll go ahead and give the rules again for those of you unlucky enough to nab Bag O’ Crap XL (that’s 40 in Roman numerals, not extra large):
THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v3.1
I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond ONE bag of some kind and SOME NUMBER OF crappy items.
II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.
III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.
IV. Thou shalt not expect better crap just because things are different this time. Crap is crap.
V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.
VI. Shalt thou receive Woot-Off lights only, thou shalt consider that crap enough.

Happy Days are Here Again

2009-07-12T18:35:00.004-05:00

w00t! logged on later last night to woot, and it was their birthday and here was the screen:

So I will be the proud owner of some woot lights and random crap.... Oh I hope it is a TV with out a remote and not an IBM blade server rack... I also have 3 random shirts coming too, so you'll be seeing some updates on all that coming up soon.

I think the next post with be my Palm Pre review the good the bad and the great.....

PEACE! CT

The Good the Bad and the Ugly.....

2009-07-06T01:39:00.014-05:00

Well Jamie Lou's uncle Charlie gave a call to the house sometime back. (a little background here, Uncle Charlie used to drive a big rig and Des Moines was one of his routes. and when ever we would be in Kansas City he would say "I drove by your house the other day" and we would ask why he would never call. Well 12 years later Uncle Charlie called.) The call was a few weeks back and Jamie whispers to me, "I think something is wrong, it is Charlie on the phone." Well the complete opposite was true, there wasn't a thing wrong... in fact he was taking us up on the offer to come to Des Moines with a place to stay. You see over the 4th is the 17th annual Good Guys Heartland Nationals. Now Charlie isn't just a car show buff, he happens to be the proud owner of a blue 1970 Torino GT with a white drop top. While it was the 4th of July 2009 in Des Moines Iowa global warming made sure that it was in the 60s and raining most of the day. But was had a good time and below are some of out favorites from Saturday the 4th. Please leave a comment let me know which ones you really like.

Charlie and his torino

This car would turn gold when the sun came out...

While I like chrome on Bel Airs... I liked this color combo here

Jamie Lou started to fall in love with delivery trucks, not as much as bel airs but quite a bit.

it don't get much more purple that this...

El Camino.....

Herbie got embarassed

It just shows that Orange and White do go together, but My 2010 with have black stripes...

A tad Hawk coloered for me, but this was a real nice car.

A lot of work on this rod... look at the copper work....

While I didn't know Ike, I think I like him too

Different strokes for different folks

Copper and Ornage were both real popular

You don't see a lot of DeSotos aroudn these days

A woody bus ready for the beach

Let's see zero to dead on 4 seconds... what should we call it?

Studabaker made some sexy cars.....

Jamie lou said she hated flames, but I think they grew on her towards the end.

A 1963 1/2 Ford Falcon, not original like ours, but it still had the same smell

You think Ace and Gary brought this one? The guy that owned this Jag didn't want to say one word to us.... wonder why his car looks like a dick...

The Great Tomato Incident (2009)

2009-06-24T17:13:00.008-05:00

So Jamie Lou got some great gifts from her sister Kerry's family (Kerry, Tom, Peter, and James). They were upside down tomato hangers. I have since come to learn that pretty much anything can and will grow upside down.

But I digress....

So earlier with brother Zac's help we basically built a cross in my back yard where is gets full sun. And it is a very nice cross, nice enough Thad may even want to burn it! (a little Dubuque humor for everyone there.... I am in no way implying that Thad burns crosses. But I have built a cross in my backyard, and he is from Dubuque.)

Zac and I were proud. we had made a tomato hanger thingy, with no plans or help from anyone. soon though I saw the error of my ways. While the top of the arms of the tomato hanger was tall enough once you hung the basket with its chain it was much lower than I had anticipated. as you can see on the left here, the tomato plant is already almost on the ground. See being a first time upside down fruit grower I really didn't know at all what to expect.

This is why I consider myself to be adaptable, I don't let it bother me when things go bad, I just drink a few beers and ignore the problem. If that doesn't fix it, I'll venture out into the world and see if there is any inspiration to be had out there. If that doesn't fix it, then it must not be too big of a problem and we will own the issue and make it a plus (see our yellow counter top as proof).

So once day while out working on my uncle Joe's pool with Zac I see he too has some unside down hangers, but his are on his deck with pipe holding it up in the air **idea forms here**

While I have no deck to run pipe up on, I do have a great tomato crucifix in my backyard I can use. So off the the Home Depot (only one trip to the hardware store for maybe the first time in my life, maybe because I drew up what I needed and stuck to the plan).

below are the results of my fix. I ended up getting 2 extra 90's to keep the 200# circles holding up the hangers from falling off the end. All in all a pretty good project, and I think the tomatoes will be good as there are already blooms all over both plants. You can see in the last picture how much lift was actually attained:

Golfing....

2009-06-17T10:44:00.003-05:00

Went Golfing with my buddy Paul this morning. Cant' see where the fairway starts? NO PROBLEM, you have a scorecard with a picture. Can't see the ball once you hit it? NO PROBLEM, you know the general direction it went. Sort of. Can't take carts off the cart path? NO PROBLEM, you can walk. oh, yeah..... I think they call it a dense fog advisory.

We played The Legacy Golf Club in Norwalk at 6:20 this morning. Maybe one of the more memorable rounds I have had in the last few years. The Legacy is hard enough when you can see where you are hitting. There were some pars made though be tween us, so that is pretty amazing.

so enjoy this camera phone shot:

Things I learned from the movie The Hangover

2009-06-15T18:06:00.003-05:00

yaaaaarrrrrr there be spoilers down below, so proceed with caution. Ye have been warned.

Mike, Jamie Lou and I went to the movie last week and we had a dashingly good time. We laughed, we cried, we came together closer as a group.

Actually, we just laughed.

So with all that here are some things I learned from watching The Hangover.

I learned that tigers like pepper, but hate cinnamon.

I learned that even though you may find Mike Tyson sweet, the guy that got punched by him might still find him a mean man.

I learned that they may have given out rings at the holocaust.

I learned that if you find a baby you should name him Carlos.

I learned that a wolf pack of four will wander the desert searching for strippers and cocaine.

I learned it is funny because he is fat.

I learned that next weekend is no good because the Jonas Brothers are in town.

I learned that counting cards, like masturbating on a plane, isn't illegal, just frowned upon.

I learned that since 9/11 that both counting cards and masturbating is probably illegal. Thanks Bin Laden!

I learned that some drug dealers don't know the difference between ecstasy and roofies.

I learned that better names for toofies inclue dropsies and floorsies.

I learned that if you friends call you Dr Faggot, your girlfriend will too.

I learned that Zach GalifianaKis shouldn't be within 200 feet of a school...or a Chuck-E-Cheese.

I learned that leaving a phone message is cool, but leaving a text is gay.

I learned that if you dare an insecure dentist to tear out his own tooth, he'll do it.

I also learned that will make him look like a nerdy hillbilly.

I learned that in fact, what ever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Even if you destroy your future father-in-law's classic car.

And lastly, I learned that if you marry a hooker while blacked out from drugs and alcohol it is probably better that that woman at home. As she is a heartless woman that had sex with a bartender on a cruise ship.

Sad little Prissy

2009-06-13T11:58:00.005-05:00

A DECREE:
Prissy Poopy Pants is henceforth to be known as Pirate Prissy Poopy Pants.

She got glaucoma a while back in her right eye and with in a matter of weeks went completely blind in it. So the poor little girl on Thursday had it taken out. She doesn't really seem to mind one bit. Running up the stairs, eating, snapping at Moses Pee-Body. All is pretty ok in her world, other than she is now sans one eye.

The left eye us still good, well as good as an old person's eye can be. After she was dropped off I asked if Jamie Lou confirmed which eye was to be removed and she said "they know". She was right they did know. so no terrible stories of the wrong eye getting removed in this post. So other than a little leaking post operation, I think she is going to getting along good as new in a few days.

Her left side is still pretty good.

left eye good, right eye gone. They put mesh behind the lid to that the eye wouldn't 'sag' in.

See all the pirate needs is an eye-patch and a pirate hat:

Close up of the left eye.

Ella's Birthday

2009-06-10T23:21:00.005-05:00

Well, a few weeks back it was little Niece Ella's 2nd birthday.

Lets see, I got to swing, fly a kite, eat hot dogs, have dirt cake, get presents..... wait the presents were Ella's but the rest was all me.

So it was the Christensen and the Doak clans, taking over the park for an afternoon.

Zac and Dani sure do have a nice kid.

Here are a few memories, oh and happy birthday Ella.......

Boss Shirt, Boss

2009-06-04T00:52:00.008-05:00

My brother informed me that once he was reading out on shirt woot (the shirt division of woot) that if you ever see someone in a Woot shirt you should tell them "Boss shirt, boss."

A week and a half ago I logged on to woot, and saw it was 3 random t-shirts for $18.00 shipped. For a fat guy like me to be able to get three XXXL t-shirt for 18 bucks it is worth the gamble of not knowing just what you might receive.

So without further delay I present to you my 3 random bags of crap shirts. I look forward to reading your favorites, I know I have mine.

This one could be called "Butter Face" but I think it is more about forcing and attitude adjustment on people. Usually I am the one in need, but being the jerk I am I think everyone else in the world should change. Happiness meter of this crap for me? Like the color, like what it says. 8 out of 10

Ah, the Ad Counsil* trying to beat down a terrible, yet treatable desiese. Scurvy! This shirt not only is spreading a message, but will be great on National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Happiness meter of this crap for me? A specialty shirt, oh but it will be worn. 6 out of 10

Last, but certainly not least is my new paper doll shirt. It is amazing that sometimes no matter how close we are we don't always know what is going on with the person just a few feet down the way. Like George Benard Shaw once said, "The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished." you know maybe the one on the left heard, "I'm on fire." But that could have more than one meaning as maybe the one on the right is a great basketball player. Happiness meter of this crap for me? Not my favorite color, but I do look good in itand I really like what it says. 7 out of 10

*Ad Counsil did not actual make this shirt

Posts to look forward to from me..... Things I learned from the new Star Trek movie...... the grass in the back yard project..... Ella's party...... and much much more....

so please feel free to leave comments, they are like the fuel that makes this old boy want to get up and go.

Things I learned from the Terminator Salvation

2009-05-23T02:05:00.007-05:00

If you are reading this…you are the resistance.

yaaaaarrrrrr there be spoilers down below, so proceed with caution. Ye have been warned.

Let me start off by saying that I understand it is a movie. And that is is a Science Fiction movie. And that certain things just have to be accepted in order for this movie to be believable. Let me also say, I have no problem with a future where machines are aware. I have no problem that machines will strike first so that we won't turn them off. I have no problem with making human machine cyborgs. I have no problem with transformers, human grabbers, face suckers or any other type of autonomous machine. I do have great problems with continuity issues. I have even bigger problems with things that are so far removed form reality that they can't even be believed in a science fiction movie.

with that here is what I learned:

I learned that one helicopter crash after a nuclear explotion is easy to walk away from.

I learned that two helicopter crashes are easy to walk away from.

I learned a possible third helicopter crash would have been just silly, so that helicopter doesn't crash from a nuclear explosion.

I learned that there will be a mute girl, but they won't tell you why.

I learned to kill the first generation terminators it is easiest to make Rube Goldberg machines to first catch and then crush them.

I learned that if you have a sound machine that turns off all terminator and terminator like machine, you won't use it when you go to Cyberdyne to kill all the machines. You will simply gloss over the fact you own one of these sound machines.

I learned that a human machine hybrid can tear his own machine processing ship out and all the machine parts will still work.

I learned that talking too long on the submarine radio can and will be bad for your health.

I learned that if you are going to show it is man against the machines make sure you have a leader from every continent together stereotypically dressed up. ie a Russian, china man, dude from the middle east....

I learned that if you want to live you should go with him.

I learned that John Conner would be back.

I learned that if you make a terminator movie you must jump motor cycles off of bridges.

I learned that Alice in Chains is all but forgotten in 2018.

I learned that a man executed in 2003 somehow is able to be reborn in 2018 as a machine/man hybrid yet his brain and heart are still good to go.

I learned that surgery in 2018 is performed out in the desert with sand blowing around.

I learned that after that surgery doesn't work heart replacement surgery will. In the desert. Sure some of these people can't make cars work, but they do remember how to replace a heart. don't worry about rejection drugs, infection, matching blood types that is all silly talk.

I lerned that if your face gets scratched up it will be scabbed over later that day, but after your heart transplant those same wounds will need to be bandaged with blood flowing everywhere.

I learned that when you want to make time pass just make it night from day and people will just accept the fact he traveled hundreds of miles.

I learned that in 2018 San Fransisco is the root of all evil.

I learned that a five finger death punch from a terminator only stops the heart is doesn't explode it like Uma Thurman would.

I learned that even though almost everythign has been blown up there is still time for the whitest teeth, shaving, and lip stick during the war against machines.

I learned that Marla Singer is the face chosen by the machines to represent them.

I learned that the machines aren't networked together very well and that they don't believe in hacker security.

I learned that humans may have won the battle, but humans haven't won the war.

I learned that even though they have been retired countless times, the A-10 Warthog will once again but put back into service to fight the machines.

I learned that if the guy that produces "Chuck" is involved there is going to be an uncomfortable scene where it looks like the hybrid is being hooked into the intersect.

I learned that maybe McG should stick to making TV shows

I learned that if you want to piss off the Machines play a Guns N Roses track from T2,

I learned that two day old coyote is better than three day old coyote.

I learned that even though people live in a gas station in the middle of the desert they can still get fresh vegetables and milk.

I learned that in the future, don’t go swimming in the river.

Food Porn

2009-05-20T00:36:00.003-05:00

ok the yoshi said he liked food porn so I thought I might list and describe a few

Dateline Mexico, Puerto Vallarta 2004 (I actually have no idea what any of that is actually for)
Asparagus and Tomato soup. Asparagus (like most green vegetables) I think is something you need to try to like. but the two paired together was pretty special. I find I can be pretty adventurous with my soups.... Lettuce soup, bouillabaisse, asparagus the list goes on and on. if it is hot and tasty, I am game.

This one is Mexico, at the Valentin Imperial Maya on the Cancun side of things in 2008. This is Jamie Lou's Meat Stuffed Chili with pomegranate seeds. While not my thing to get to eat, she really liked it. And if you promise not to say that I told you, she got the same meal twice there it was so good.

So let's see 4 malts and 8 cookies, that is a great dessert. OK this is from the Florida trip in April 2009. Jamie Lou wanted dessert, and we kind of hit it off with the owner and this was the result. The cookies, we were informed, seemed "old" to the owner of MadFish so he had new ones cooked up. But since the were so hot they couldn't go into the stand they normally come in for service between the malts. And since there were two of us he thought two cookies of each flavor would be good for us too. The four (4) banana malts are so you can have one with each flavor of cookie. A lot of food if you ask me, but there were left overs and the servers at the bar Bongo Bongo's next door really liked them. Look closely at the malts, they had these great purple sugars sprinkled on them. Look even closer you can just see the key lime pie I ordered. I knew it was going to be great when the pie came and it was white and not neon green.

Same meal, same restaurant. I got the tuna (size of a softball) cooked tar tar, and it was cold red in the middle, soooooo good. Wassabi mashed potato egg roll. and marinated blanched baby bok choi. I have to admit I only ordered this after I saw how good it was the night before when Jamie Lou got it. If only I had pictures from the 22 ounce lobster tail from the night before.......

This is the night we got back from the Florida trip. Tired and not all that hungry we made it up to Sage on their last night to say good bye, have a drink and a few bites to eat. Everything has a season I guess, but it still makes me a bit sad to know our favorite place to go for great food is gone.

Florida Vacation

2009-05-18T00:29:00.005-05:00

Jamie Lou and I had a great trip to Florida. We were on the gulf side from North Port to Tampa Bay. Great to see family (Kerry, Tom, Peter and James), great to see some sea creatures (Mote Aquarium), great to see the beach (St. Pete Beach), and have some wonderful food (Madfish).

We saw a credit card lost at a TGIFridays. We saw an entertainment center fly out of a truck and hit a minivan on the interstate. We found out that a metal pole messes up a rental Prius when you back up against it. We also found that a little bit of hard work made most of the messed up Prius look much better. We learned that even though it hasn't rained in 2 month it will when you go golfing.

Like I said great trip with great people, I recommend a vacation to anyone that can take one.

Please enjoy the follow slide show. Hey there is a picture of Jamie Lou drinking a beer, and that is something you don't see every day!

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

ssshhhhh it is someone's birthday.......

2009-05-13T13:05:00.003-05:00

Happy birthday Jamie Lou!

I can't believe you are **AGE REDACTED** years old today!

Hope your day is fun, dinner tonight is tastey and you get lots of presents. Hey, great gifts are what it is all about.

This one is for Thad

2009-04-22T13:35:00.002-05:00

This is how I play* my mage CTMcGee in WoW

*note, this isn't actually me, just something I aspire to be

The movie that was....

2009-04-15T01:16:00.006-05:00

There be spoilers that follow, so if you think you may want to be *eeerrr ahhem* surprised by the movie twilight stop reading now! Below is the trailer to refresh your memory of the crap that is... Twilight

Ah the movie Twilight. I HATED this piece a shit movie. Now before any of you 30 something housewives tell me I am wrong hear me out.

1) They play baseball. Oh, my gaaaawwwdd. They play baseball. But because they are so good they can only play during a thunderstorm to hide their awesome hitting skills. Other vampires will show up for this family pick-up game. I hated this movie.

2) They CAN be in the sunlight. It doesn't hurt them. It just makes them sparkly like diamonds. FREAKING DIAMONDS. I freaking hated this movie.

3) Edward, who for some reason the 30 somethings find dreamy, can read minds, never sleep, eat animals instead of people. WOW along with playing baseball and being super fast and being super shiney he is a whole new kind of vampire, but not a kind I care about. This movie sucked

4) Edward, who can read minds, for some reason can't read Bella's mind. She is "special". So special... so special... and the mom, and the baseball player boyfriend, and the cars, and the dad drinking and cleaning guns..... I want to scream

5) there seem to be more "good" vampires than "bad" ones. This to me seems to fly in the face of the whole reason the vampire was ever invented. Angels/daemons good/evil human emotions/vampire lust.. UUUGGGGHHH I hated this movie.

6) lead the girl on, make her want you , make her want to be a vampire. Then tell her to control herself. You know once in a class in college were were asked to write down what we would do if we were invisible. I said I might go to the girls shower, everyone else said they would fight crime of some other bullshit. I got an A, and he told the class "one person got an A, the rest of you are liars." That is what I think of when there is a "good" vampires. LIIIIIIAAAAAARRRRRR, just stupid. This movie sucks

7) "Say it out loud" "Vampire" Been a lot cooler if she had said "Candyman. Candyman. Candyman."

8) Immortal? you know who I would pick in a fight against Edward? the Predetor

Here is the deleted sex scene from the movie:

DEE YOU EM

2009-04-10T17:43:00.000-05:00

DUM

What I learned from Watchmen

2009-04-08T23:31:00.005-05:00

I learned that if you have a cool character like Rorschach and he has a kick-ass "face" you don't bother to explain how or where it came from.

I learned that being a lesbian just might get you killed.

I learned that if you are Dr. Manhattan pants are optional. Because hey, who doesn't like to see 20 shots of giant blue floppy cock?

I learned that being the world's smartest man some how makes you fast enough to catch bullets.

I learn that is you make a movie with a bad ass and he doesn't' talk in a raspy voice, you don't have a bad ass.

I learned that you can have abandoned subway track under your house and fly your home grown flying machine out of it and no one will ever come to check anything out.

I learned that Denny from Grey's anatomy make
a great sociopath in playing The Comedian.

I learned that you might not have any friends if the only person you can confide in is your arch enemy.

I learned there may have been an alternate casting.

I learned that some people never get used to be teleported through time and space.

I learned that you can be a god but not remember your human friend need oxygen to breath once you bring them to mars.

I learned that when you are in prison with Rorschach he is not locked in with you, you are locked in with him. Additionally, DO NOT stick your hands in him cell for any reason.

I learned that a dwarf can be the crime lord of a pretty bad prison.

I learned that if you save people from a apartment fire you with get lots of great sex.

I learned that having Dr. Manhattan on your side in Vietnam makes exploding the enemy easier.

I learned that you should never bring a shiv to a deep fryer face burning fight.

I learned if you are going to ask one of the Watchmen to "punish you" do ask Rorschach, as you may end up thrown down an elevator shaft.

I learned that even the smartest man in the world picks terrible passwords that are easily cracked.

I learned that if I ever forget my watch at work, I 'll pick it up the next day.

I learned that killing a child and feeding them to dogs could be bad for your health. And the dogs' health. And the sharp blade of your hatchet.

I leaned that Max Headroom is a live and making movies.

I learned that you shouldn't hold anything glass in your hands if Rorschach wants to ask you questions.

I learned that Nixon could have been president for a long long time.

I learned that Sally Jupiter ended up being OK with an attempted rape

I learned that if a god like being wont save an entire city it should be surprising that a pregnant Vietnamese woman getting smoked was a-okay.

and lastly I learned that beans are just fine out of the can.

Like the Phoenix

2009-04-08T00:36:00.006-05:00

It seems lately the things I like either go away or go bad. My awesome computer when turned on the other day wouldn't boot and made a strange beeping noise. Went to get some milk the other morning, it was bad. Some programs at work that seem to be fine all of the sudden can't seem to run. My favorite weekly hang out for 5 years, Billy Joe's, closed. And now my absolute favorite restaurant in Des Moines, Sage, will be closing their doors at the end of April.

I know, poor Cam, it must be hard to be you..... But hey, now my computer has and extra 2 GB of RAM and a new video card. There happened to be another gallon of milk in the fridge. Programs can always be fixed, I think that is what is called job security. Billy Joe's has actually re-opened, all be it sans movie theater and at last check trivia is missing too. And Chef Meek is going to be heading downtown to Sbrocco. So all is not lost, and things are never quite as bad as they seem. But as we have come to point out at work.... things are never as bad as they seem, until they are. well we say that and 110 111, what ever it takes.

So I dedicate this posting to things that once were but are no longer

Iowa State Basketball
Me wearing 32" waist pants
My 81 Camaro
Sage
Pushing Daisey's
The Sinclair dinosaur
Prissy's right eye
My ability to stay up until 2AM and get up for work at 6
My N64
That great house at Simpson that seems to be no more
Grass in my backyard
The beer barn
Life on Mars
Roadshow video
Billy Joe's Picture Show
Pondarosa
The camp dodge pool
Barnards
The ground round
Videos on MTv
Trees in my front yard
and Adam Fausch

I'd like to hear some other things from around Des Moines that are missing.

Sometimes it does feel true that I change by not changing at all